New bed.

Since our daughter, Shari, sells beds, she was the obvious choice to go to when we went to buy a new bed. The one she thought we would like "goes up and it goes down", as the old woman on the TV ad states.

First of all, our old bed sat so low to the floor (that was because I am close to the floor at 5' 3" and shrinking) I could sit on the edge of the bed and touch my fingers to the floor to do my exercises.

Shari warned me the new bed would be a "little taller". Well, her "little taller" appears to have meant like a midget on steroids. I have to "hike" myself up into this new bed and with my body that is no easy chore.

Oh, and did I tell you, this new bed has a remote control? Jim and I were telling a lady at church about the new bed and my problems with the remote control and she suggested I turn over my remote control to Jim. I'm afraid I yelled out loud in church and said: "Turn that remote control over to Jim? You have to be kidding. For 55 years I have been fighting him over the remote control to the TV. He's one of those people who simply cannot leave the remote control alone. He flips and flips from station to station until I'm flipping, too--flipping out that is!"

Jim tried to explain the remote control to the bed to me. The problem is that the light on the remote control only stays on for a few seconds, so if you are in the middle of searching for a setting and the light goes out you are pushing buttons in the dark.

Jim said, "Now, this one says 'flat' and that lays you way down.'

Yes, it does. "Flat" means flatter than a pancake. There is one that says "RC" which means it sits you up something like a recliner. Since I have slept in a recliner for years, this suits me pretty well.

There are 3 different vibrator buttons and all of them are good! I felt like I was falling off a mountain the other night when I tried to get out of bed from the reclining position.

Jim suggested I lower the bed to "flat" position before getting out from now on.

All of this adjusting to our new bed just tells me how accurate that old saying is. You know the one I mean--the one that says "you can't teach an old dog (or in this case--old dogs) a new trick. A vibrating. contortionist, twisting bed. What will they think of next?

At least, it has made our night time excursions something to look forward to!

NOT!

Grandma Lee's Sugar Cookie Recipe

1 cup butter

1 cup vegetable oil

1 cup granulated sugar

1 cup powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 eggs

1 teaspoon baking soda

4 cups flour

1 teaspoon cream of tartar

1 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Thoroughly cream vegetable oil, butter and both sugars. Add vanilla and eggs. Sift dry ingredients.

Stir in and blend.

Roll a teaspoon of soft dough into a ball. Roll ball in granulated sugar. Press down on lightly greased cookie sheet with a fork or glass tumbler dipped in sugar. Press dough with fork to make a design. Bake about 12 minutes.

ENJOY! I think Mom got this recipe out of a magazine. Sure brought back memories to me. I bake cookies for granddaughter, Rylee, on the week-ends Brent has her. I'll have to surprise her with these cookies.

HOW MANY CHURCH MEMBERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulbs, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least fifteen. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormon: At least four. Because of the importance of family, everyone needs to join in, including mom, dad, sister and brothers.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb traditions, including candescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-line and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Church lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

Jewish: Who needs bulbs? God said, "Let there be light."

Marriage and The Common Cold

This is just too good not to share! And having recently celebrated our 55th anniversary, I can REALLY relate!!

This is how a typical husband responds when his wife comes down with a common cold--

IN THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE:

"Darling, I'm worried about my baby girl. You've got a bad sniffle, and there's no telling about these things with all the terrible viruses going around nowadays. I've called the emergency doctor, and I have called your mother. She is coming to help with the cooking and cleaning."

IN THE SECOND YEAR OF MARRIAGE:

"Listen, darling. I don't like the sound of that cough. I've made an appointment with the doctor. Now, you go to bed like a good girl, and I'll take care of everything".

IN THE THIRD YEAR:

"Maybe you'd better lie down, darling. Nothing like a little rest when you're feeling lousy. I'll bring you something. Do we have some canned soup?"

IN THE FOURTH YEAR:

"Now look dear. Be sensible. After you feed the kids, and mop the floor, you'd better get some rest."

IN THE FIFTH YEAR:

"Why don't you take a couple of aspirin?"

IN THE SIXTH YEAR:

"If you'd just gargle or something, instead of barking like a seal all night..."

IN THE SEVENTH YEAR:

"For Pete's sake. Stop sneezing! What are you trying to do--give me

pneumonia?"

Long time no see--Life Happens Blog!

Because of limited use of my hands, I see it has been some time since I wrote in this blog. My journey to rebuild one arthritic hand is about over. About all I gained is I can straighten my left hand a

little better and the fingers aren't as droopy. But the pain is still there. However, with my new computer it is easier to type with limited finger-use.

This is from one of my columns back in 2008 from The Hometown Journal. Enjoy!

REGULATIONS!

In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again,the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing, along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard--but no Ark! "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah,"but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkling system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Building Department Appeal Board for a decision. Then, the Department of Transportation, demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls--but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."

"Then, the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly, the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No" said the Lord. "The government beat me to it.".

Additional information to the sad tale of 6 year old elapsed driver's license and more

I wanted to keep you in the know with my problems with my driver's license and Social Security
card both being found to be useless. As you will remember my sad tale from my last posting, all
of the FUN started because I was going to have surgery and was advised they would require a
photo ID before they would do surgery.
When I proudly submitted my brand-new, legal driver's license, the lady at the surgery center, barely gave it a glance as she made a copy and handed it back to me. I thought with all of the problems getting that photo ID, she could have at least admired it for a moment.
Another interesting thing happened when I returned to the Social Security office with proof in hand that I really AM Donna Uebinger, I asked the man in charge why he refused to accept my birth certificate as proof I am who I SAY I am, said that only proves I was born--it doesn't prove
I am still alive!
Getting my birth certificate was quite a task back when Jim and I got married and my parents realized they didn't have my birth certificate as it was burned up in a small fire at the Court House in Fairfield--but that's a story for another time--when I can type with 2 hands.

Now the story can be told!

It all started out innocently enough. I went to see Dr. Naam about having reconstructive surgery done
on my poor old arthritic hand. We scheduled it for May 5. As we left his office, the nurse commented that I needed a photo ID the day of the surgery.
When I got home I pulled out my driver's license and told Jim that the person in the picture on the license didn't even look like me (I had dyed hair, big glasses and tipped the scales a few (?) pounds lighter. One day, I told Jim to run me by the DMV office and I would have a new picture taken and change the address on my license to the address I have lived at for 13+ years. Yes, I
know!!!
While we were waiting in line for someone to help me, I happened to glance down at my driver's license and stamped on it were these words: "Expiration date 2005!"
Well, when the DMV guy was told this, I thought he might be having a heart attack. He did tell me
I had set a new record. The old record was a woman who had an expired license 5 years old.
He informed me I had to start over--read the Rules of the Road book; take a written test, have an eye exam and drive. A few days later, after having reviewed the booklet, I went back to the
driver's license office, prepared to take the written test.
When the worker asked me for an ID, I was prepared, except for one little thing. She said she
needed to see my Social Security card. Guess what!!! I had lost that card! I was told I couldn't get a driver's license without a Social Security card.
I contacted the national Social Security office and they told me my birth certificate wasn't going to work--they needed an Illinois driver's license (valid driver's license, they stressed). Well,
if that wasn't a big fat mess. I couldn't get my new driver's license without a Social Security card
and couldn't get a Social Security card without a valid Driver's license.
I kept trying to find a type of ID that the SSA would accept. Finally, we drove to Effingham
to the regional office and I explained my dilemma to the gentleman there. He said there was
a solution. If I had a doctor's print-out of where I had seen a doctor, with my date of birth on it
and my Social Security number printed on it--that would work.
I had just seen Dr. Bonutti a few weeks earlier, so we scooted over to Dr. Bonutti's office--his nurse gave me a copy of my last appointment print-out, we took it back to the SS office
and it worked.
I got the Social Security card in the mail within a week and a half and yesterday took and
passed my driver's test, SO I AM LEGAL AGAIN!
We tried to piece together how I could have had an expired license for so many years. We decided that I must have failed to notify the State of Illinois when we moved from the country
to town (around 13 years ago). I had not been in the Driver's License facility for years because
I had a good driving record and all I had to do was order my new license by mail. Luckily,
I had never been pulled over by a policeman who asked to see my license, and it had been
so long, I was not even in the data base in Springfield. They must have assumed I was dead!
So take my advice, and once in a while be sure your driver's license is current; and that you
have a Social Security CARD!

A strange trip to the Land of OZ.

Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you begin to question your sanity? Jim and I went through that recently--at a doctor's office.
A few years ago I developed a nasty disease called "lymphedema". This is what happens when something goes haywire with your immune system. You can have lymphedema in various parts
of your body--mine was in my arms and hands. Strangely, many doctors don't know much
about the disease and just kind of push you on to another doctor to deal with it.
Jim had to wrap both arms and hands every day--and I was only allowed 1 hour out of the wraps
in each 24 hour period--in order to take a shower.
The wrapping causes pressure to be put on the swelling and attempts to trick the immune system
to start working again. In the midst of this, all at once 2 fingers on my left hand began to "dangle". The doctor said arthritis had eaten through the tendons on that hand. My regular doctor suggested I see Dr. Naam, who is known in these parts as the "hand doctor". We thought Dr. Naam could tie the tendons up so I would have some use of that hand. At the time I was
playing the organ at church and although it was easier to play the organ at that point than the piano (I could slid my fingers on the organ and somewhat hit the right notes), it was still
difficult to do daily tasks around the house with 3 fingers working.
I went to Dr. Naam and he agreed to do the surgery on that hand and we had a time set and everything. Only a day before, however, he called me and said that he had consulted with
doctors across the country and they had advised him it was too dangerous to do any surgery,
as they were afraid the hand might get infected and the infection would spread all over my body.
So, I forgot about surgery and went about my business. Then, I ended up with 1 dangling finger on the right hand. In time, both hands began to draw up and kind of form a "cup". I
can't straighten them out, so my doctor said it was time to talk to Dr. Naam again.
When Dr. Naam came into the office that day he said, "Well, did you have surgery?" Jim and I
looked at each other in confusion. I told the doctor that I had not had surgery because he
backed out of doing it. He argued with me and said another doctor had sent me to him and
the other doctor was going to do the surgery. Finally, Dr. Naam spotted 2 sticky notes
on the inside of my file and they must have explained what had transpired the other time,
so he ended up apologizing for the misunderstanding.
To make a long story short--I am scheduled to have surgery on May 5, to be done by Dr. Naam
to try to correct the cupping on my left hand. If it works, I will have the right hand done later.
Later on this blog, I will tell you about how the visit to Dr. Naam turned into a strange turn of events. I want to make sure everything works out before I talk about--afraid talking about it
prematurely might jinx it. Stay tuned!

Dr. Peter Bonutti

If you live anywhere close to Effingham, IL, you are certain to have heard of Dr. Peter Bonutti. He is an orthopedic doctor and has a thriving clinic in Effingham. I met him several years ago after having two knees replacements put in at the Vincennes Hospital, and one of them didn't work right after it was done. The doctor who did the surgery knew something was terribly wrong, and reacted in a rather unusual way--he was very rude to me. I ended up at Dr. Bonutti's office and he did another knee replacement. I always like to see the looks on people's faces when I tell them I have had 3 knee replacements--and two shoulder replacements, too. I hadn't seen Dr. Bonutti in several years, but began to have difficulty in walking and went to see if everything was o.k. with the knee replacements. X-rays showed them to be pretty much intact with the exception of some plastic shredding (whatever that means)! The doctor decided my walking problem was probably caused by an arthritic back. When I was in Bonutti's office, I asked him if he remembered his comment to me about my nose. He didn't. One time I said to the doctor, "You know you have replaced nearly everything in my body that can be replaced. There is surely nothing left to change." Without missing a beat, he got right up in my face and said, "Well, I can always work on that nose of yours!" For the people who don't know me, I inherited the LEE nose! The LEE nose looks like a clown's nose, except it isn't bright red--well, maybe it is on occasion! Dr. Bonutti's nurse couldn't believe he had said that to me, but I reminded him he was much younger then and sillier. We all had a good laugh. Rumor has it that this silly doctor has invented several orthopedic devices and methods to install them. I don't know if this is true, but he is one heck of a good doctor--even if he did make fun of my nose!

A Day In the life ot the People at First Baptist

Our family has belonged to The First Baptist Church in Flora for many years. Our church was
always known for having great singers. They could perform solos, duets, trios and even quartets.
We no longer have a choir, and to tell you the truth--that is probably my fault, as I wasn't talented enough on the piano to play those choir songs. This story goes back a few years.
Our Shari was a teen-ager and she and two or three of her friends always sat on the front row of
the choir section and believe me, there was always some kind of confusion going on up there.
Jim and I tried to sit out in the congregation where we could keep an eye on them and see what they were doing and when things would get really bad, we would give Shari one of those, "wait until we get you home" looks, but Shari soon learned how to avoid that problem--she refused to look at us the whole service.
This particular Sunday, we had a guest speaker. He was a young man and while the first part of the service was going on, he sat in a chair right beside the choir but sitting facing a different direction. This made everything he did visible to the members of the choir and visa-versa, but
the man didn't pay much attention to what was going on. He was probably nervous and I imagine he was going over in his mind what he was going to talk about when his turn came up.
He absentmindedly started picking at a stray thead on his pant leg. Well, you know men--he kept picking and picking until the thread broke. He was unaware the young girls were watching all of this, but they were glued to the scene.
As his hem on the pants began to unravel, so did the choir. The young girls got the older women laughing--the older women made the men start to snicker and before long, since laughter is contagious, the congregation started laughing too--even though they had no clue as to what was going on in the choir loft.
The choir finally began to settle down a bit--until the man stood up to speak, and there was one pant leg dragging the floor and the other one up where it was supposed to be--and well, that started the young girls off on another tangent. The young man said, "good morning" and people snickered all over the church--he made some remarks and everyone laughed--whether it was funny or not. Let me tell you, it was one joyous service.
I'm sure that young man, when he left our church that morning thought to himself--"why I must be a better speaker than I thought. I had those people rolling in the aisles."
And our Heavenly Father, sitting up there in his big Man's Recliner, must have said to himself,
on that Sunday morning, as he shook his head from side-to-side--"goodness, goodness, what am I going to do with those Flora Baptists?", but I'll bet he had little laugh lines around his mouth, too. What do you think?

A sad time--

I see it has been nearly 2 weeks since I last wrote in this blog. The N.W.H. blog practically writes itself. All I have to do is check my sources on what those silly politicians are doing--and put it down on paper, but this blog is harder.
As I said at the beginning when I started writing this blog--this shows my kinder, gentler self. Right now,
that self is having trouble accepting a serious illness which my ex-daughter-in-law has. I simply can't get my mind wrapped around this situation.
Of course, she is Rylee's mother and she is a great mother, too. Rylee went through a really rough time when her folks got a divorce, and I can only worry about how she is going to get through this sickness and the upside-down world that will undoubtedly accompany it.
Rylee has 2 brothers and I worry about them, too.
Every time I would start to write in this blog, Jennifer would come floating into my mind.
I ask for your prayers for the whole family. I never know if it is right to ask for a miracle--but
if God doesn't mind--this might be the time to ask for one of those, too.
Thank you for caring!

Well, we are back from a month in the south and getting settled back in. This house seems SO big after living in a motor home--and the nice thing is I don't have to step on a pedal to flush the toilet! Anyhow, until I get my thoughts together, my brother sent me this via e-mail. I thought it was so cute that I wanted to pass it on to you!

A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixing (getting ready) to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, " Please don't jump. Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead. I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."
He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids,"
She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee."
He asked, "Who's Robert E. Lee?"
She replied, "Well bless your heart. just go ahead and jump, you dumb a-- Yankee!"

The reason this probably caught Bob's eye is Mom and Dad named him Robert E Lee on
a February 20th morning not too many years ago. Rumor has it, he was named after a
boat. Just kidding!! Good one, Bob!

The Least Tern Nesting Area

We have driven along Highway 90 here in and around Biloxi dozens of times since we came early in Feb. When I kept seeing the sign along the road which said, "Least tern - Judith Toups Highway", well, my writer's brain was brought to attention.
What is a least tern and who is Judith Toups. The least tern is the smallest member of the gull
and tern family and when the world's longest man-made beach along the Mississippi Sound was built in 1952, the least terns found a paradise for nesting.
As for who is Judith Toups--that is a little more complicated. After her children became more or less raised, Judith began painting and soon birds appeared in many of her pictures and before long she got a field guide and binoculars ansd began to learn to identify the birds she found along the Mississippi Gulf Coast. She founded a local chapter of the Audubon Society.
Hurricane Katrina changed forever the hometown of the Toups family. Although a year after Katrina, casinos and money-making businesses began to rebuild, families had to relocate as
they tried to sell their stripped real estate or wait around to settle with insurance companies.
When Judith's daughter, Christine, lost her job at a local newspaper after nearly 12 years of
service, Judith sold the family home and moved to Decatur, AL and it was there she died of lung cancer, caused by years of chain-smoking, on Feb. 27, 2007.
I urge you to look up the story of Judith Toups on the internet. Hers is a fascinating story.

Observations from Mississippi's Gulf Coast

There are many people in this campground; there are many dogs in this campground and there are many people walking dogs in this campground. Now, I'm not ashamed to admit, I'm not too
old to learn something new--I didn't realize that in order to get their dogs to poop on cue they
give them a doggy treat. I can only imagine how different my life would have been had
I been treated thusly--but I want you to know, a doggy biscuit wouldn't have accomplished what
was desired. Well. o.k., maybe a chocolate chip cookie-----! lol
*******
I always get a kick out off watching the dog walkers--you see little bitty women walking huge dogs; while big old men are walking tiny little dogs!
*******
Jim and I like to try new places to eat while we are here. One was a chicken buffet. I'll bet you think there is nothing unusual about that, but it was not an "all you can eat" buffet, but a plate- full buffet. For $7.49 you get a plate and a small bowl for dessert and your drink and dessert
are included in the price. It turns out they also served fish--and they didn't care how full you filled that plate, and some people had it down pat as to how much that paper plate WOULD HOLD! I just thought it was an interesting concept.
We got all excited about a new restaurant but on further examination, we discovered it was
a family-style restaurant. We don't care for that type of service--as we don't eat that much.
O.K., I know what you are thinking--"Well, you look like you eat that much." All I can say is
you are entitled to your own opinion.
We have re-discovered the Whataburger restaurants, as well as Chick-filet. I don't like
hamburgers except at Steak and Shakes and Whataburgers, so that has been fun. When we are at Gulf Shores, we had to cross over into Florida to eat Whataburgers.
*******
I brought three books with me and bought 2 more at the Millions of Books store and all WERE REALLY good except this last one--and I can't keep my focus on it. Oh well, I can always go back to that book store.
*******
Alabama/Florida people are concerned because they keep finding dead dolphins washing up on shore and they are finding many were aborted births. Most people who study such things
feel this may be caused by the BP oil spill. Everyone is very concerned since 52 dolphins have been found dead on beaches, so far this year.
********
The weather has been unusually warm this spring--in mid to high 70's and fog nearly every night--which means humidity is extremely high. I don't get along well with high humidity
but it is supposed to cool off tomorrow and get to more seasonal temps so I'll look forward to
normal Feb. temps here in Mississippi.
******Till next time---------

Where is Georgia O'Keefe?

Several years ago, we toured the state of New Mexico. While in Santa Fe, I was excited about seeing
Georgia O'Keefe's museum. We finally made our way to the general direction of the museum,
but the traffic was so thick, we never could get to the museum itself. We were there in Santa Fe for about 2 days and never could get into the museum. I'm sure the locals know when and how
to see the museum, but we never learned the secret.
When we arrived in Biloxi, I was happy to see the Ohr-O'Keefe Museum of Art was up and running. The building of this museum had barely begun when Katrina hit and it was damaged so
they had to do the repairs before the building of the museum itself could resume.
As we toured the museum, we found sculptures by Richmond Barthe, who was born in Bay St. Louis in 1901. He was an
African-American, and the lady who took our money to tour the museum said they were very happy to have his works because he had come from this area.
There was a nice display of George Ohr pottery. Ohr is called, "The Mad Potter of
Biloxi". Ohr's studio and all his work was destroyed by a fire in 1894 and he then began to experiment and created an astonishing variety of work, which was packed in boxes for 60 years
at his son's junk yard--until discovered by an antiques dealer in the 1970's.
There were a few selected prints in one section of the museum by Andy Warhol, which was kind
of surprising, in such a solemn setting.
All of a sudden, we were back to the starting point of the tour--and at the gift shop. I was
ashamed to ask the lady in the gift shop, but I had to know: "I have a stupid question for you,"
I said. "Where is the Georgia O'Keefe exhibit?"
She smiled and said, "That's not a stupid question at all. We get it all the time. However, the
O'Keefe in the name of this museum is not Georgia O'Keefe, but Jerry O'Keefe. He owns
several funeral homes in this area, and was the first person to make a sizeable donation to
the building of this museum, so they added his name, by calling it the Ohr-O'Keefe Museum of Art."
Well, all I have to say is-- isn't that a brilliant bit of merchandising?
While in Santa Fe I had picked up several brochures and after we got home, I ordered a
Georgia O'Keefe print from a poster store. I guess that's the closest I'll ever get to
anything by good old Georgia!

I've Never Seen a Bug As Big As You.

My strong, powerful, "he who can handle anything" husband, has a bug phobia! Believe me, you could have knocked me over with a feather. The bad thing was because of his over-reactions to
bugs of any type, it caused Shari to be scared to death of bugs; as well as her daughter, Brandi.
I decided I would break this silliness with Brandi as I thought she was young enough to be molded into a "live and let live" world, as it pertained to insects.
I have seen Jim beat a fly into pieces so small, they looked like dust, and as for Shari, I've seen her go bananas over sweat bees. The funny thing was our oldest kid, Brad, WAS allergic to sweat bees, and Shari was not, but she is the one who had a come-apart when sweat bees
appeared on the scene.
When Brandi showed signs of being really scared around bugs,
I started a campaign of saying, "Brandi, I've never seen a bug as big as you," whenever she would react badly to seeing a bug.
I pointed out to her that since humans are so much bigger than bugs, they should be afraid of us,
not the other way around. It seemed to be working--for awhile--but she got so sick of me saying those words, that she began to ignore me.
Back when we camped (really camped) in a camper, out in the woods, with the kids, Jim hated
mosquitos so much that he would take a can of bug spray into the camper before bedtime
and spray and spray. The kids would say, "Please, Dad. That is enough spray! We would rather take our chances with the mosquitos!"
While we have been here in Biloxi, I hated to tell him about my encounter with a spider--a really big spider, but decided I'd better warn him in case the spider came to visit him so I said, "How
come that big old spider only comes out when I am in the shower?" "What spider," he asked?
I told him that the previous evening when I got into the shower, this big old monster came crawling up out of the shower drain, so I poured shampoo on him and lots of hot water and he disappeared back into the drain. However, the next evening, either that same spider, or his
twin, came back up from the drain again. It was hard for me to believe that the spider could
have survived, but there it was!
Jim didn't say anything, but later in the night when I went to the bathroom, I knew he had
gotten out his deadly bug treatment equipment. So, I said, "Well, I guess you really killed
that spider for good this time, huh?" He said, 'How could you tell?"
I answered, "Well, the smell of bug spray wafting up through the shower drain,. kind of gave me a clue."
I would almost bet Jim was chanting, "Die, spider, die, as he was spraying, too!"

A Blonde in a Southern Church.

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. It is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and don't intend to accept this. Now, I want the
party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
No one moved.
The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven, and in your heart you will feel glory. Now, stand and confess your transgression."
Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic, rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted and the congregation roared.

Now, if I gave you the name of the upstanding and outstanding community leader who sent this to me--you would be very surprised! However, I will protect her identity. Now, why
would a 74-year old Christian woman put this on her blog? ALL I CAN SAY IS, THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!!

I seem to have lost my groove but warm weather is bringing it back.

I've been a bit "out of it" since arriving in Biloxi. Jim has been about sick with a terrible cough
and cold--and neither of us sleeping very well so now that the warm weather has arrived,
hopefully we will get "our groove" back!
The people in this campground are scurrying about like a herd of ants--riding bikes, walking their
dogs, sunning and embracing the beautiful sunshine!
I'm making plans for the new week. We have a new Gulf Coast magazine with all of the
eating places in the area listed, so can hardly wait to try some of those. There is a Ohr-O'Keefe Museum which we plan to check out this week. I didn't realize it, but construction on the Museum
just barely begun when Katrina hit. I thought it was brand new when we
were here in December. The damage had to be repaired before construction could continue
but it is all finished now.
We drove over to Bay St. Louis yesterday. I have mentioned this before--the old town of Bay St. Louis suffered much damage during the hurricane and in fact the bridge that connected Bay St. Louis to the rest of the area, was completely destroyed and it took several years before
it could be rebuilt as it is a huge bridge. We noticed they are building a new seawall now--I'm sure they are hoping that if another hurricane comes through, the seawall may protect
some of the properties. There had always been neat shops and restaurants there--with
all of them being destroyed by Katrina.
If you have never been to this part of the Gulf Coast, I hope you can work it into your
schedule sometime. The white sand beaches are beautiful. We have noticed there is
still work going on picking up tar balls from the BP oil spill. The TV stations seem to infer
that there is constant bickering between BP and the locals and we got the feeling that BP
thinks the communities are trying to keep the clean-up crews working just in case there is more damage to the sand than is visible now. We were shocked that according to TV, 65% of
claims caused by the oil spill HAVE NOT BEEN paid!

Up, Up and Away.

The first of the week, we'll be headed back to Biloxi after blood tests and doctor appointments,
so I won't be back on my blogs for a few days, so that being said--hope you enjoy this:

Men have it made! They always have it made and always will--and that is because God is a man
so he wants to protect his special species! When they get ready to go somewhere, all they have to do is put on some boxer shorts and they're good to go. Well, of course, they have to put on something besides boxers, but their simple underwear makes getting dressed a breeze.
When women get ready to go out, there are many more things to put on than boxer shorts. First of all, of course, is a bra. I guess that is one thing that certainly is necessary, but when I see movie stars parading around at big events, I don't believe those gals even know about bras.
After one of the big awards shows recently, I heard a reporter ask on of the big designers how the ladies keep their boobs inside their dresses, and he said they used double-faced tape. You have got to be kidding!
I'd have to have duct tape and have it wrapped around my neck, but I'm off the subject.
I have an undergarment called a "coverall." No, it's not like the coveralls that men wear and it doesn't really "cover all", but it tries and it kind of smooths out some of the bumps and bulges. However, it is so old it is getting seat-sprung, so I have been looking for something different
to replace that ratty old coverall.
I just couldn't find anything I liked UNTIL the other day I saw a slip in a catalog. The description said, "Never wear a girdle again. Just put on this stretchy slip and you'll never know you're wearing a thing, since it is so smooth and soft, but it controls, too!"
Boy, that sounded perfect, so I ordered it. When it arrived I could hardly wait to get home and get my clothes off so I could try it on.
It was a little tough to get the thing over my head and neck because it clung so tightly, and then I had trouble getting it over my..well, over my bosom, and when I got all that accomplished, I was disappointed with the look of it. I am an eternal optimist and I just knew those bumps and bulges would disappear, when in fact, because the slip was so snug, it made them even more pronounced!
I decided to try it on another time, when I was a little more upbeat. But getting the thing off required some maneuvers that you would not have wanted to see. When I got that slip up to my
neck, it felt like the tentacles of an octopus, as it got tighter and tighter around my neck.
i realized that if I wasn't very careful, those stetchy straps to that undergarment could very well catapult me into outer space,
I can see the headlines now. "Woman in New Slip Orbiting the Earth. Husband Says He Hopes She is There for Good."
I finally got that killer slip off my body and put it in a drawer where it rests in peace.
But, after having this experience, I believe I have just found the newest weapon of mass destruction for our country--SPANDEX!

An awesome gift.

I received an awesome gift yesterday. Bill Atwood brought by a plaque for me which says:
IN APPRECIATION
Presented to
Donna Uebinger
Who has graciously and steadfastly
loaned her time and God given
musical talent to so many!

Thank you for reminding us to
"Count Our Many Blessings!"
and
"What a Friend We have in Jesus".
Last but not least, you remind us that
"When the Roll is Called Up Yonder"
YOU'LL be there.
For your faithful service and
in Christ's Love,
Your Friends at
First Baptist Church

As I wrote in an earlier post, my hands have failed and I had to give up playing the organ
at First Baptist after a rather disasterous final performance. I'm surprised the members
of the church felt I deserved a plaque after that, but I thank them so much!
It has been my privilege to have played for so many years!