I had a big ego-trip.

A little over a year ago, I gave a talk at our church. It turned out that I really enjoyed doing
that and began to think (ego-trip!) that maybe that was my calling for the rest of my life.
The only idea was somewhat presumptuous, since I can barely walk--even with a cane--but
egos get a little confused at times.
I began to plan for my next talk. I decided to talk about the Prodigal Son parable in the
Bible (Luke 15:11-32). I even ordered a print of the famous painting of the Prodigal Son to
use in my talking points. I don't care if it is a famous painting, I thought it was ugly! The more I delved into this story, though, the more interesting it became.
Most Bible experts put the emphasis on--not the prodigal son--but on his brother and they
even stated the father in the parable was compared to the Heavenly Father.
As I was preparing for another talk, though, I felt like something was missing, so I decided
to go to my Heavenly Father for guidance. People have always told me God answers our requests
three ways. Number 1: by saying "yes"; Number 2: by saying "no" and Number 3, by saying "later". Well, my answer was none of the above but--"Don't even think about it. What makes
you think you are qualified to talk about the Prodigal Son?"
Wow! Thanks for not beating around the bush, Lord!
In preparation for my talk, I had even found a cute story to "butter up" my audience.
Since I have orders from headquarters to not give another talk, this story is too good not
to share. I have a feeling this will be something women will enjoy more than men.
"A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his check-up,
the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, 'Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, combined with
horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband can die. Each
morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a
good mood. For lunch, fix him a nutritious meal. For dinner, prepare an
especially nice meal for him. don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your stress or
anything negative. This will probably make him feel worse.
If you can do this for at least ten months to a year, I think your husband will
regain his health completely.'
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, 'What did the doctor say to you?'
She replied, 'You're going to die.'"