Up, Up and Away.

The first of the week, we'll be headed back to Biloxi after blood tests and doctor appointments,
so I won't be back on my blogs for a few days, so that being said--hope you enjoy this:

Men have it made! They always have it made and always will--and that is because God is a man
so he wants to protect his special species! When they get ready to go somewhere, all they have to do is put on some boxer shorts and they're good to go. Well, of course, they have to put on something besides boxers, but their simple underwear makes getting dressed a breeze.
When women get ready to go out, there are many more things to put on than boxer shorts. First of all, of course, is a bra. I guess that is one thing that certainly is necessary, but when I see movie stars parading around at big events, I don't believe those gals even know about bras.
After one of the big awards shows recently, I heard a reporter ask on of the big designers how the ladies keep their boobs inside their dresses, and he said they used double-faced tape. You have got to be kidding!
I'd have to have duct tape and have it wrapped around my neck, but I'm off the subject.
I have an undergarment called a "coverall." No, it's not like the coveralls that men wear and it doesn't really "cover all", but it tries and it kind of smooths out some of the bumps and bulges. However, it is so old it is getting seat-sprung, so I have been looking for something different
to replace that ratty old coverall.
I just couldn't find anything I liked UNTIL the other day I saw a slip in a catalog. The description said, "Never wear a girdle again. Just put on this stretchy slip and you'll never know you're wearing a thing, since it is so smooth and soft, but it controls, too!"
Boy, that sounded perfect, so I ordered it. When it arrived I could hardly wait to get home and get my clothes off so I could try it on.
It was a little tough to get the thing over my head and neck because it clung so tightly, and then I had trouble getting it over my..well, over my bosom, and when I got all that accomplished, I was disappointed with the look of it. I am an eternal optimist and I just knew those bumps and bulges would disappear, when in fact, because the slip was so snug, it made them even more pronounced!
I decided to try it on another time, when I was a little more upbeat. But getting the thing off required some maneuvers that you would not have wanted to see. When I got that slip up to my
neck, it felt like the tentacles of an octopus, as it got tighter and tighter around my neck.
i realized that if I wasn't very careful, those stetchy straps to that undergarment could very well catapult me into outer space,
I can see the headlines now. "Woman in New Slip Orbiting the Earth. Husband Says He Hopes She is There for Good."
I finally got that killer slip off my body and put it in a drawer where it rests in peace.
But, after having this experience, I believe I have just found the newest weapon of mass destruction for our country--SPANDEX!