What I've Learned

I ran across this the other day mixed in with some of my old columns. I think I probably got
it off the internet, but it's still pertinent, I think. I hope you enjoy it.

I'VE LEARNED that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I'VE LEARNED that money doesn't buy class.
I'VE LEARNED that all play and no work makes Jack a very poor boy.
I'VE LEARNED that men gossip more than women do--and it's usually about women.
I'VE LEARNED that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I'VE LEARNED that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I'VE LEARNED that with all of the medical specialists these days, we are sadly lacking in doctors who can treat your whole body.
I'VE LEARNED that we senior citizens would probably be healthier if we didn't have medicare paying the bills. After all, at our advanced age, if you run enough tests, you
are certain to find something wrong.
I'VE LEARNED that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away, and the real pains-in-the-butt are permanent.
I'VE LEARNED that if, when you meet someone for the first time and the hairs on the back
of your neck stand at attention--your neck is usually right.
I'VE LEARNED that I don't suffer from insanity--I enjoy it.
I'VE LEARNED that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I'VE LEARNED that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I'VE LEARNED to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I'VE LEARNED age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I'VE LEARNED that depression is merely anger without enthusiam.
I'VE LEARNED that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I'VE LEARNED that to ignore the facts, does not change the facts.
I'VE LEARNED that under everyone's hard shell, is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I'VE LEARNED that the Lord didn't do it all in one day and what makes me think I can?
I'VE LEARNED that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I'VE LEARNED that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I'VE LEARNED that if you're lucky, a really good friendship will last a lifetime.
I'VE LEARNED that you shouldn't compare yourself to others--they are more screwed up
than you think.
I'VE LEARNED that age spots can be rather attractive if you take an ink pen and make a dot-to-dot drawing on your limb(s),
AND LAST, I'VE LEARNED that life is like a roll of toilet paper. the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes!