New bed.

Since our daughter, Shari, sells beds, she was the obvious choice to go to when we went to buy a new bed. The one she thought we would like "goes up and it goes down", as the old woman on the TV ad states.

First of all, our old bed sat so low to the floor (that was because I am close to the floor at 5' 3" and shrinking) I could sit on the edge of the bed and touch my fingers to the floor to do my exercises.

Shari warned me the new bed would be a "little taller". Well, her "little taller" appears to have meant like a midget on steroids. I have to "hike" myself up into this new bed and with my body that is no easy chore.

Oh, and did I tell you, this new bed has a remote control? Jim and I were telling a lady at church about the new bed and my problems with the remote control and she suggested I turn over my remote control to Jim. I'm afraid I yelled out loud in church and said: "Turn that remote control over to Jim? You have to be kidding. For 55 years I have been fighting him over the remote control to the TV. He's one of those people who simply cannot leave the remote control alone. He flips and flips from station to station until I'm flipping, too--flipping out that is!"

Jim tried to explain the remote control to the bed to me. The problem is that the light on the remote control only stays on for a few seconds, so if you are in the middle of searching for a setting and the light goes out you are pushing buttons in the dark.

Jim said, "Now, this one says 'flat' and that lays you way down.'

Yes, it does. "Flat" means flatter than a pancake. There is one that says "RC" which means it sits you up something like a recliner. Since I have slept in a recliner for years, this suits me pretty well.

There are 3 different vibrator buttons and all of them are good! I felt like I was falling off a mountain the other night when I tried to get out of bed from the reclining position.

Jim suggested I lower the bed to "flat" position before getting out from now on.

All of this adjusting to our new bed just tells me how accurate that old saying is. You know the one I mean--the one that says "you can't teach an old dog (or in this case--old dogs) a new trick. A vibrating. contortionist, twisting bed. What will they think of next?

At least, it has made our night time excursions something to look forward to!

NOT!

Grandma Lee's Sugar Cookie Recipe

1 cup butter

1 cup vegetable oil

1 cup granulated sugar

1 cup powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 eggs

1 teaspoon baking soda

4 cups flour

1 teaspoon cream of tartar

1 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Thoroughly cream vegetable oil, butter and both sugars. Add vanilla and eggs. Sift dry ingredients.

Stir in and blend.

Roll a teaspoon of soft dough into a ball. Roll ball in granulated sugar. Press down on lightly greased cookie sheet with a fork or glass tumbler dipped in sugar. Press dough with fork to make a design. Bake about 12 minutes.

ENJOY! I think Mom got this recipe out of a magazine. Sure brought back memories to me. I bake cookies for granddaughter, Rylee, on the week-ends Brent has her. I'll have to surprise her with these cookies.

HOW MANY CHURCH MEMBERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulbs, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least fifteen. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormon: At least four. Because of the importance of family, everyone needs to join in, including mom, dad, sister and brothers.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb traditions, including candescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-line and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Church lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

Jewish: Who needs bulbs? God said, "Let there be light."

Marriage and The Common Cold

This is just too good not to share! And having recently celebrated our 55th anniversary, I can REALLY relate!!

This is how a typical husband responds when his wife comes down with a common cold--

IN THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE:

"Darling, I'm worried about my baby girl. You've got a bad sniffle, and there's no telling about these things with all the terrible viruses going around nowadays. I've called the emergency doctor, and I have called your mother. She is coming to help with the cooking and cleaning."

IN THE SECOND YEAR OF MARRIAGE:

"Listen, darling. I don't like the sound of that cough. I've made an appointment with the doctor. Now, you go to bed like a good girl, and I'll take care of everything".

IN THE THIRD YEAR:

"Maybe you'd better lie down, darling. Nothing like a little rest when you're feeling lousy. I'll bring you something. Do we have some canned soup?"

IN THE FOURTH YEAR:

"Now look dear. Be sensible. After you feed the kids, and mop the floor, you'd better get some rest."

IN THE FIFTH YEAR:

"Why don't you take a couple of aspirin?"

IN THE SIXTH YEAR:

"If you'd just gargle or something, instead of barking like a seal all night..."

IN THE SEVENTH YEAR:

"For Pete's sake. Stop sneezing! What are you trying to do--give me

pneumonia?"

Long time no see--Life Happens Blog!

Because of limited use of my hands, I see it has been some time since I wrote in this blog. My journey to rebuild one arthritic hand is about over. About all I gained is I can straighten my left hand a

little better and the fingers aren't as droopy. But the pain is still there. However, with my new computer it is easier to type with limited finger-use.

This is from one of my columns back in 2008 from The Hometown Journal. Enjoy!

REGULATIONS!

In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again,the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing, along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard--but no Ark! "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah,"but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkling system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Building Department Appeal Board for a decision. Then, the Department of Transportation, demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls--but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."

"Then, the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly, the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No" said the Lord. "The government beat me to it.".

Additional information to the sad tale of 6 year old elapsed driver's license and more

I wanted to keep you in the know with my problems with my driver's license and Social Security
card both being found to be useless. As you will remember my sad tale from my last posting, all
of the FUN started because I was going to have surgery and was advised they would require a
photo ID before they would do surgery.
When I proudly submitted my brand-new, legal driver's license, the lady at the surgery center, barely gave it a glance as she made a copy and handed it back to me. I thought with all of the problems getting that photo ID, she could have at least admired it for a moment.
Another interesting thing happened when I returned to the Social Security office with proof in hand that I really AM Donna Uebinger, I asked the man in charge why he refused to accept my birth certificate as proof I am who I SAY I am, said that only proves I was born--it doesn't prove
I am still alive!
Getting my birth certificate was quite a task back when Jim and I got married and my parents realized they didn't have my birth certificate as it was burned up in a small fire at the Court House in Fairfield--but that's a story for another time--when I can type with 2 hands.

Now the story can be told!

It all started out innocently enough. I went to see Dr. Naam about having reconstructive surgery done
on my poor old arthritic hand. We scheduled it for May 5. As we left his office, the nurse commented that I needed a photo ID the day of the surgery.
When I got home I pulled out my driver's license and told Jim that the person in the picture on the license didn't even look like me (I had dyed hair, big glasses and tipped the scales a few (?) pounds lighter. One day, I told Jim to run me by the DMV office and I would have a new picture taken and change the address on my license to the address I have lived at for 13+ years. Yes, I
know!!!
While we were waiting in line for someone to help me, I happened to glance down at my driver's license and stamped on it were these words: "Expiration date 2005!"
Well, when the DMV guy was told this, I thought he might be having a heart attack. He did tell me
I had set a new record. The old record was a woman who had an expired license 5 years old.
He informed me I had to start over--read the Rules of the Road book; take a written test, have an eye exam and drive. A few days later, after having reviewed the booklet, I went back to the
driver's license office, prepared to take the written test.
When the worker asked me for an ID, I was prepared, except for one little thing. She said she
needed to see my Social Security card. Guess what!!! I had lost that card! I was told I couldn't get a driver's license without a Social Security card.
I contacted the national Social Security office and they told me my birth certificate wasn't going to work--they needed an Illinois driver's license (valid driver's license, they stressed). Well,
if that wasn't a big fat mess. I couldn't get my new driver's license without a Social Security card
and couldn't get a Social Security card without a valid Driver's license.
I kept trying to find a type of ID that the SSA would accept. Finally, we drove to Effingham
to the regional office and I explained my dilemma to the gentleman there. He said there was
a solution. If I had a doctor's print-out of where I had seen a doctor, with my date of birth on it
and my Social Security number printed on it--that would work.
I had just seen Dr. Bonutti a few weeks earlier, so we scooted over to Dr. Bonutti's office--his nurse gave me a copy of my last appointment print-out, we took it back to the SS office
and it worked.
I got the Social Security card in the mail within a week and a half and yesterday took and
passed my driver's test, SO I AM LEGAL AGAIN!
We tried to piece together how I could have had an expired license for so many years. We decided that I must have failed to notify the State of Illinois when we moved from the country
to town (around 13 years ago). I had not been in the Driver's License facility for years because
I had a good driving record and all I had to do was order my new license by mail. Luckily,
I had never been pulled over by a policeman who asked to see my license, and it had been
so long, I was not even in the data base in Springfield. They must have assumed I was dead!
So take my advice, and once in a while be sure your driver's license is current; and that you
have a Social Security CARD!

A strange trip to the Land of OZ.

Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you begin to question your sanity? Jim and I went through that recently--at a doctor's office.
A few years ago I developed a nasty disease called "lymphedema". This is what happens when something goes haywire with your immune system. You can have lymphedema in various parts
of your body--mine was in my arms and hands. Strangely, many doctors don't know much
about the disease and just kind of push you on to another doctor to deal with it.
Jim had to wrap both arms and hands every day--and I was only allowed 1 hour out of the wraps
in each 24 hour period--in order to take a shower.
The wrapping causes pressure to be put on the swelling and attempts to trick the immune system
to start working again. In the midst of this, all at once 2 fingers on my left hand began to "dangle". The doctor said arthritis had eaten through the tendons on that hand. My regular doctor suggested I see Dr. Naam, who is known in these parts as the "hand doctor". We thought Dr. Naam could tie the tendons up so I would have some use of that hand. At the time I was
playing the organ at church and although it was easier to play the organ at that point than the piano (I could slid my fingers on the organ and somewhat hit the right notes), it was still
difficult to do daily tasks around the house with 3 fingers working.
I went to Dr. Naam and he agreed to do the surgery on that hand and we had a time set and everything. Only a day before, however, he called me and said that he had consulted with
doctors across the country and they had advised him it was too dangerous to do any surgery,
as they were afraid the hand might get infected and the infection would spread all over my body.
So, I forgot about surgery and went about my business. Then, I ended up with 1 dangling finger on the right hand. In time, both hands began to draw up and kind of form a "cup". I
can't straighten them out, so my doctor said it was time to talk to Dr. Naam again.
When Dr. Naam came into the office that day he said, "Well, did you have surgery?" Jim and I
looked at each other in confusion. I told the doctor that I had not had surgery because he
backed out of doing it. He argued with me and said another doctor had sent me to him and
the other doctor was going to do the surgery. Finally, Dr. Naam spotted 2 sticky notes
on the inside of my file and they must have explained what had transpired the other time,
so he ended up apologizing for the misunderstanding.
To make a long story short--I am scheduled to have surgery on May 5, to be done by Dr. Naam
to try to correct the cupping on my left hand. If it works, I will have the right hand done later.
Later on this blog, I will tell you about how the visit to Dr. Naam turned into a strange turn of events. I want to make sure everything works out before I talk about--afraid talking about it
prematurely might jinx it. Stay tuned!

Dr. Peter Bonutti

If you live anywhere close to Effingham, IL, you are certain to have heard of Dr. Peter Bonutti. He is an orthopedic doctor and has a thriving clinic in Effingham. I met him several years ago after having two knees replacements put in at the Vincennes Hospital, and one of them didn't work right after it was done. The doctor who did the surgery knew something was terribly wrong, and reacted in a rather unusual way--he was very rude to me. I ended up at Dr. Bonutti's office and he did another knee replacement. I always like to see the looks on people's faces when I tell them I have had 3 knee replacements--and two shoulder replacements, too. I hadn't seen Dr. Bonutti in several years, but began to have difficulty in walking and went to see if everything was o.k. with the knee replacements. X-rays showed them to be pretty much intact with the exception of some plastic shredding (whatever that means)! The doctor decided my walking problem was probably caused by an arthritic back. When I was in Bonutti's office, I asked him if he remembered his comment to me about my nose. He didn't. One time I said to the doctor, "You know you have replaced nearly everything in my body that can be replaced. There is surely nothing left to change." Without missing a beat, he got right up in my face and said, "Well, I can always work on that nose of yours!" For the people who don't know me, I inherited the LEE nose! The LEE nose looks like a clown's nose, except it isn't bright red--well, maybe it is on occasion! Dr. Bonutti's nurse couldn't believe he had said that to me, but I reminded him he was much younger then and sillier. We all had a good laugh. Rumor has it that this silly doctor has invented several orthopedic devices and methods to install them. I don't know if this is true, but he is one heck of a good doctor--even if he did make fun of my nose!

A Day In the life ot the People at First Baptist

Our family has belonged to The First Baptist Church in Flora for many years. Our church was
always known for having great singers. They could perform solos, duets, trios and even quartets.
We no longer have a choir, and to tell you the truth--that is probably my fault, as I wasn't talented enough on the piano to play those choir songs. This story goes back a few years.
Our Shari was a teen-ager and she and two or three of her friends always sat on the front row of
the choir section and believe me, there was always some kind of confusion going on up there.
Jim and I tried to sit out in the congregation where we could keep an eye on them and see what they were doing and when things would get really bad, we would give Shari one of those, "wait until we get you home" looks, but Shari soon learned how to avoid that problem--she refused to look at us the whole service.
This particular Sunday, we had a guest speaker. He was a young man and while the first part of the service was going on, he sat in a chair right beside the choir but sitting facing a different direction. This made everything he did visible to the members of the choir and visa-versa, but
the man didn't pay much attention to what was going on. He was probably nervous and I imagine he was going over in his mind what he was going to talk about when his turn came up.
He absentmindedly started picking at a stray thead on his pant leg. Well, you know men--he kept picking and picking until the thread broke. He was unaware the young girls were watching all of this, but they were glued to the scene.
As his hem on the pants began to unravel, so did the choir. The young girls got the older women laughing--the older women made the men start to snicker and before long, since laughter is contagious, the congregation started laughing too--even though they had no clue as to what was going on in the choir loft.
The choir finally began to settle down a bit--until the man stood up to speak, and there was one pant leg dragging the floor and the other one up where it was supposed to be--and well, that started the young girls off on another tangent. The young man said, "good morning" and people snickered all over the church--he made some remarks and everyone laughed--whether it was funny or not. Let me tell you, it was one joyous service.
I'm sure that young man, when he left our church that morning thought to himself--"why I must be a better speaker than I thought. I had those people rolling in the aisles."
And our Heavenly Father, sitting up there in his big Man's Recliner, must have said to himself,
on that Sunday morning, as he shook his head from side-to-side--"goodness, goodness, what am I going to do with those Flora Baptists?", but I'll bet he had little laugh lines around his mouth, too. What do you think?

A sad time--

I see it has been nearly 2 weeks since I last wrote in this blog. The N.W.H. blog practically writes itself. All I have to do is check my sources on what those silly politicians are doing--and put it down on paper, but this blog is harder.
As I said at the beginning when I started writing this blog--this shows my kinder, gentler self. Right now,
that self is having trouble accepting a serious illness which my ex-daughter-in-law has. I simply can't get my mind wrapped around this situation.
Of course, she is Rylee's mother and she is a great mother, too. Rylee went through a really rough time when her folks got a divorce, and I can only worry about how she is going to get through this sickness and the upside-down world that will undoubtedly accompany it.
Rylee has 2 brothers and I worry about them, too.
Every time I would start to write in this blog, Jennifer would come floating into my mind.
I ask for your prayers for the whole family. I never know if it is right to ask for a miracle--but
if God doesn't mind--this might be the time to ask for one of those, too.
Thank you for caring!

Well, we are back from a month in the south and getting settled back in. This house seems SO big after living in a motor home--and the nice thing is I don't have to step on a pedal to flush the toilet! Anyhow, until I get my thoughts together, my brother sent me this via e-mail. I thought it was so cute that I wanted to pass it on to you!

A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixing (getting ready) to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, " Please don't jump. Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead. I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."
He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids,"
She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee."
He asked, "Who's Robert E. Lee?"
She replied, "Well bless your heart. just go ahead and jump, you dumb a-- Yankee!"

The reason this probably caught Bob's eye is Mom and Dad named him Robert E Lee on
a February 20th morning not too many years ago. Rumor has it, he was named after a
boat. Just kidding!! Good one, Bob!

The Least Tern Nesting Area

We have driven along Highway 90 here in and around Biloxi dozens of times since we came early in Feb. When I kept seeing the sign along the road which said, "Least tern - Judith Toups Highway", well, my writer's brain was brought to attention.
What is a least tern and who is Judith Toups. The least tern is the smallest member of the gull
and tern family and when the world's longest man-made beach along the Mississippi Sound was built in 1952, the least terns found a paradise for nesting.
As for who is Judith Toups--that is a little more complicated. After her children became more or less raised, Judith began painting and soon birds appeared in many of her pictures and before long she got a field guide and binoculars ansd began to learn to identify the birds she found along the Mississippi Gulf Coast. She founded a local chapter of the Audubon Society.
Hurricane Katrina changed forever the hometown of the Toups family. Although a year after Katrina, casinos and money-making businesses began to rebuild, families had to relocate as
they tried to sell their stripped real estate or wait around to settle with insurance companies.
When Judith's daughter, Christine, lost her job at a local newspaper after nearly 12 years of
service, Judith sold the family home and moved to Decatur, AL and it was there she died of lung cancer, caused by years of chain-smoking, on Feb. 27, 2007.
I urge you to look up the story of Judith Toups on the internet. Hers is a fascinating story.

Observations from Mississippi's Gulf Coast

There are many people in this campground; there are many dogs in this campground and there are many people walking dogs in this campground. Now, I'm not ashamed to admit, I'm not too
old to learn something new--I didn't realize that in order to get their dogs to poop on cue they
give them a doggy treat. I can only imagine how different my life would have been had
I been treated thusly--but I want you to know, a doggy biscuit wouldn't have accomplished what
was desired. Well. o.k., maybe a chocolate chip cookie-----! lol
*******
I always get a kick out off watching the dog walkers--you see little bitty women walking huge dogs; while big old men are walking tiny little dogs!
*******
Jim and I like to try new places to eat while we are here. One was a chicken buffet. I'll bet you think there is nothing unusual about that, but it was not an "all you can eat" buffet, but a plate- full buffet. For $7.49 you get a plate and a small bowl for dessert and your drink and dessert
are included in the price. It turns out they also served fish--and they didn't care how full you filled that plate, and some people had it down pat as to how much that paper plate WOULD HOLD! I just thought it was an interesting concept.
We got all excited about a new restaurant but on further examination, we discovered it was
a family-style restaurant. We don't care for that type of service--as we don't eat that much.
O.K., I know what you are thinking--"Well, you look like you eat that much." All I can say is
you are entitled to your own opinion.
We have re-discovered the Whataburger restaurants, as well as Chick-filet. I don't like
hamburgers except at Steak and Shakes and Whataburgers, so that has been fun. When we are at Gulf Shores, we had to cross over into Florida to eat Whataburgers.
*******
I brought three books with me and bought 2 more at the Millions of Books store and all WERE REALLY good except this last one--and I can't keep my focus on it. Oh well, I can always go back to that book store.
*******
Alabama/Florida people are concerned because they keep finding dead dolphins washing up on shore and they are finding many were aborted births. Most people who study such things
feel this may be caused by the BP oil spill. Everyone is very concerned since 52 dolphins have been found dead on beaches, so far this year.
********
The weather has been unusually warm this spring--in mid to high 70's and fog nearly every night--which means humidity is extremely high. I don't get along well with high humidity
but it is supposed to cool off tomorrow and get to more seasonal temps so I'll look forward to
normal Feb. temps here in Mississippi.
******Till next time---------

Where is Georgia O'Keefe?

Several years ago, we toured the state of New Mexico. While in Santa Fe, I was excited about seeing
Georgia O'Keefe's museum. We finally made our way to the general direction of the museum,
but the traffic was so thick, we never could get to the museum itself. We were there in Santa Fe for about 2 days and never could get into the museum. I'm sure the locals know when and how
to see the museum, but we never learned the secret.
When we arrived in Biloxi, I was happy to see the Ohr-O'Keefe Museum of Art was up and running. The building of this museum had barely begun when Katrina hit and it was damaged so
they had to do the repairs before the building of the museum itself could resume.
As we toured the museum, we found sculptures by Richmond Barthe, who was born in Bay St. Louis in 1901. He was an
African-American, and the lady who took our money to tour the museum said they were very happy to have his works because he had come from this area.
There was a nice display of George Ohr pottery. Ohr is called, "The Mad Potter of
Biloxi". Ohr's studio and all his work was destroyed by a fire in 1894 and he then began to experiment and created an astonishing variety of work, which was packed in boxes for 60 years
at his son's junk yard--until discovered by an antiques dealer in the 1970's.
There were a few selected prints in one section of the museum by Andy Warhol, which was kind
of surprising, in such a solemn setting.
All of a sudden, we were back to the starting point of the tour--and at the gift shop. I was
ashamed to ask the lady in the gift shop, but I had to know: "I have a stupid question for you,"
I said. "Where is the Georgia O'Keefe exhibit?"
She smiled and said, "That's not a stupid question at all. We get it all the time. However, the
O'Keefe in the name of this museum is not Georgia O'Keefe, but Jerry O'Keefe. He owns
several funeral homes in this area, and was the first person to make a sizeable donation to
the building of this museum, so they added his name, by calling it the Ohr-O'Keefe Museum of Art."
Well, all I have to say is-- isn't that a brilliant bit of merchandising?
While in Santa Fe I had picked up several brochures and after we got home, I ordered a
Georgia O'Keefe print from a poster store. I guess that's the closest I'll ever get to
anything by good old Georgia!

I've Never Seen a Bug As Big As You.

My strong, powerful, "he who can handle anything" husband, has a bug phobia! Believe me, you could have knocked me over with a feather. The bad thing was because of his over-reactions to
bugs of any type, it caused Shari to be scared to death of bugs; as well as her daughter, Brandi.
I decided I would break this silliness with Brandi as I thought she was young enough to be molded into a "live and let live" world, as it pertained to insects.
I have seen Jim beat a fly into pieces so small, they looked like dust, and as for Shari, I've seen her go bananas over sweat bees. The funny thing was our oldest kid, Brad, WAS allergic to sweat bees, and Shari was not, but she is the one who had a come-apart when sweat bees
appeared on the scene.
When Brandi showed signs of being really scared around bugs,
I started a campaign of saying, "Brandi, I've never seen a bug as big as you," whenever she would react badly to seeing a bug.
I pointed out to her that since humans are so much bigger than bugs, they should be afraid of us,
not the other way around. It seemed to be working--for awhile--but she got so sick of me saying those words, that she began to ignore me.
Back when we camped (really camped) in a camper, out in the woods, with the kids, Jim hated
mosquitos so much that he would take a can of bug spray into the camper before bedtime
and spray and spray. The kids would say, "Please, Dad. That is enough spray! We would rather take our chances with the mosquitos!"
While we have been here in Biloxi, I hated to tell him about my encounter with a spider--a really big spider, but decided I'd better warn him in case the spider came to visit him so I said, "How
come that big old spider only comes out when I am in the shower?" "What spider," he asked?
I told him that the previous evening when I got into the shower, this big old monster came crawling up out of the shower drain, so I poured shampoo on him and lots of hot water and he disappeared back into the drain. However, the next evening, either that same spider, or his
twin, came back up from the drain again. It was hard for me to believe that the spider could
have survived, but there it was!
Jim didn't say anything, but later in the night when I went to the bathroom, I knew he had
gotten out his deadly bug treatment equipment. So, I said, "Well, I guess you really killed
that spider for good this time, huh?" He said, 'How could you tell?"
I answered, "Well, the smell of bug spray wafting up through the shower drain,. kind of gave me a clue."
I would almost bet Jim was chanting, "Die, spider, die, as he was spraying, too!"

A Blonde in a Southern Church.

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. It is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and don't intend to accept this. Now, I want the
party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
No one moved.
The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven, and in your heart you will feel glory. Now, stand and confess your transgression."
Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic, rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted and the congregation roared.

Now, if I gave you the name of the upstanding and outstanding community leader who sent this to me--you would be very surprised! However, I will protect her identity. Now, why
would a 74-year old Christian woman put this on her blog? ALL I CAN SAY IS, THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!!

I seem to have lost my groove but warm weather is bringing it back.

I've been a bit "out of it" since arriving in Biloxi. Jim has been about sick with a terrible cough
and cold--and neither of us sleeping very well so now that the warm weather has arrived,
hopefully we will get "our groove" back!
The people in this campground are scurrying about like a herd of ants--riding bikes, walking their
dogs, sunning and embracing the beautiful sunshine!
I'm making plans for the new week. We have a new Gulf Coast magazine with all of the
eating places in the area listed, so can hardly wait to try some of those. There is a Ohr-O'Keefe Museum which we plan to check out this week. I didn't realize it, but construction on the Museum
just barely begun when Katrina hit. I thought it was brand new when we
were here in December. The damage had to be repaired before construction could continue
but it is all finished now.
We drove over to Bay St. Louis yesterday. I have mentioned this before--the old town of Bay St. Louis suffered much damage during the hurricane and in fact the bridge that connected Bay St. Louis to the rest of the area, was completely destroyed and it took several years before
it could be rebuilt as it is a huge bridge. We noticed they are building a new seawall now--I'm sure they are hoping that if another hurricane comes through, the seawall may protect
some of the properties. There had always been neat shops and restaurants there--with
all of them being destroyed by Katrina.
If you have never been to this part of the Gulf Coast, I hope you can work it into your
schedule sometime. The white sand beaches are beautiful. We have noticed there is
still work going on picking up tar balls from the BP oil spill. The TV stations seem to infer
that there is constant bickering between BP and the locals and we got the feeling that BP
thinks the communities are trying to keep the clean-up crews working just in case there is more damage to the sand than is visible now. We were shocked that according to TV, 65% of
claims caused by the oil spill HAVE NOT BEEN paid!

Up, Up and Away.

The first of the week, we'll be headed back to Biloxi after blood tests and doctor appointments,
so I won't be back on my blogs for a few days, so that being said--hope you enjoy this:

Men have it made! They always have it made and always will--and that is because God is a man
so he wants to protect his special species! When they get ready to go somewhere, all they have to do is put on some boxer shorts and they're good to go. Well, of course, they have to put on something besides boxers, but their simple underwear makes getting dressed a breeze.
When women get ready to go out, there are many more things to put on than boxer shorts. First of all, of course, is a bra. I guess that is one thing that certainly is necessary, but when I see movie stars parading around at big events, I don't believe those gals even know about bras.
After one of the big awards shows recently, I heard a reporter ask on of the big designers how the ladies keep their boobs inside their dresses, and he said they used double-faced tape. You have got to be kidding!
I'd have to have duct tape and have it wrapped around my neck, but I'm off the subject.
I have an undergarment called a "coverall." No, it's not like the coveralls that men wear and it doesn't really "cover all", but it tries and it kind of smooths out some of the bumps and bulges. However, it is so old it is getting seat-sprung, so I have been looking for something different
to replace that ratty old coverall.
I just couldn't find anything I liked UNTIL the other day I saw a slip in a catalog. The description said, "Never wear a girdle again. Just put on this stretchy slip and you'll never know you're wearing a thing, since it is so smooth and soft, but it controls, too!"
Boy, that sounded perfect, so I ordered it. When it arrived I could hardly wait to get home and get my clothes off so I could try it on.
It was a little tough to get the thing over my head and neck because it clung so tightly, and then I had trouble getting it over my..well, over my bosom, and when I got all that accomplished, I was disappointed with the look of it. I am an eternal optimist and I just knew those bumps and bulges would disappear, when in fact, because the slip was so snug, it made them even more pronounced!
I decided to try it on another time, when I was a little more upbeat. But getting the thing off required some maneuvers that you would not have wanted to see. When I got that slip up to my
neck, it felt like the tentacles of an octopus, as it got tighter and tighter around my neck.
i realized that if I wasn't very careful, those stetchy straps to that undergarment could very well catapult me into outer space,
I can see the headlines now. "Woman in New Slip Orbiting the Earth. Husband Says He Hopes She is There for Good."
I finally got that killer slip off my body and put it in a drawer where it rests in peace.
But, after having this experience, I believe I have just found the newest weapon of mass destruction for our country--SPANDEX!

An awesome gift.

I received an awesome gift yesterday. Bill Atwood brought by a plaque for me which says:
IN APPRECIATION
Presented to
Donna Uebinger
Who has graciously and steadfastly
loaned her time and God given
musical talent to so many!

Thank you for reminding us to
"Count Our Many Blessings!"
and
"What a Friend We have in Jesus".
Last but not least, you remind us that
"When the Roll is Called Up Yonder"
YOU'LL be there.
For your faithful service and
in Christ's Love,
Your Friends at
First Baptist Church

As I wrote in an earlier post, my hands have failed and I had to give up playing the organ
at First Baptist after a rather disasterous final performance. I'm surprised the members
of the church felt I deserved a plaque after that, but I thank them so much!
It has been my privilege to have played for so many years!

Manipulation by a credit card company

I don't normally have trouble with my credit card companies--as most of them we have had for
a very long time, and I try to pay my bills on time always, but yesterday I had an experience with one of them that made me puzzled and angry.
The credit card company shall remain nameless, but when they offered a 5% discount on purchases
made at restaurants and drug stores, (as well as a smaller discount on ALL purchases), I jumped at the opportunity, because those two places are where much of our money goes.
Along with a rather large invoice, there was a notice that we had earned $40 in discounts, and
the notice said this amount could be redeemed at any time by going to their website. That didn't go very well, however, as the only thing I could bring up on that site was how to apply for their
credit card. Of course, I already had their credit card.
I kept bringing up different versions of their name, trying to get somewhere where I could redeem the points. In my search, though, I became a little nervous when ON THE CREDIT CARD COMPANY'S SITE, I began to run across remarks made by their card holders, with
lots of nasty things being posted, like: "This company sucks. They are now trying to get me to
pay a yearly fee to get the discounts", or "do not sign up for discounts with this company. They stay awake nights trying to keep people from getting the full value of their discounts."
Wow! Always being a cock-eyed optimist, though, I finally decided to call the service rep listed on the back of
the credit card.
I just knew I was on the right track then, until I realized my call was completely operated by a
computer. First, "she" told me how much my current bill was, and how much I had already paid and after pushing numerous buttons I got to the part about redeeming the discount.
I wanted the $40 applied to the current statement, but with Ms. Computer, this wasn't even
listed as an option. Finally, the voice said, "If you want to receive a $25 check, push 1". Well,
no, I didn't want a $25 check--I wanted a $40 check."
I finally gave in, though, and pushed that I wanted the $25 check. I told Jim that it made me so
angry that the company manipulated me so easily. Will I ever get the balance? I have no idea.
But I will say I have had a Discover credit card for many years, and redeeming their discounts is so easy--AND it can be applied to the bill. All I have to do is call a number!

E-Mail Tracker Programs

Our nephew, Dustin Lowe has sent this to me as an e-mail, but I thought I would include this
in my blog. Maybe you can pass it along to your friends this way. Dustin is a police officer and
knows of what he speaks.
The man that sent this information is a computer tech. He spends a lot of time clearing the junk off computers for people and listens to complaints about speed. All forwards are not bad, just some. Be sure you read the very last paragraph.
*****
He wrote:
By now, I suspect everyone is familiar with snopes.com and/or truthorfiction.com * for determining
whether information received via email is just that: true/false or fact/fiction. Both are
excellent sites. *(Note from Donna--I also use FactCheck.)
*****
Advice from snopes.com VERY IMPORTANT!!
1. Any time you see an email that says "forward this on to '10' (or however many) of your friends", "sign this petition", or "you'll get bad luck" or "you'll get good luck" or "you'll see something funny on your screen after you send it" or whatever---it almost always has an email
tracker program attached that tracks the cookies and emails of those folks you forward to.
The host sender is getting a copy each time it gets forwarded and then is able to get lists of 'active'
email addresses to use in SPAM emails or sell to other spammers. Even when you get emails that demand you send email on if you're not ashamed of God/Jesus---that is email tracking, and they are playing on your conscience. These people don't care how they get your email addresses--just as long as they get them. Also, emails that talk about a missing child or a child with an incurable disease "how would you feel if that was your child"--email tracking. Ignore them and don't participate!
2. Almost all emails that ask you to add your name and forward on to others are similar to that mass letter years ago that asked people to send business cards to the little kid in Florida who wanted to break the Guinness Book of Records for the most cards.
All it was, and all any of this type of email is, is a way to get names and 'cookie' tracking information for telemarketers and spammers--to validate active email accounts for their own profitable purposes.
You can do your friends and family members a GREAT favor by sending this information to them. You will be providing a service to your friends. And you will be rewarded by not getting thousands of spam emails in the future!
Do yourself a favor and STOP adding your name(s) to those types of listings regardless how
inviting they might sound! Or make you feel guilty if you don't. It's all about getting email addresses and nothing more.
You may think you are supporting a GREAT cause, but you are NOT! Instead, you will be getting tons of junk mail later and very possibly a virus attached! Plus, we are helping the spammers
get rich! Let's not make it easy for them!
ALSO: Email petitions are NOT acceptable to congress or any other organization - i.e. social security, etc. To be acceptable. petitions must have a "signed signature" and full address of the person signing the petition, so this is a waste of time and you are helping the email trackers.

Tips for Handling Telemarketers: Three Little words that Work!!
1. The three little words are: 'Hold On, Please....'
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
Then when you eventually hear the phone company's 'beep-beep-beep' tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. Those three
little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting..
2. Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?
This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.
This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a 'real' sales person to get someone at home.
What you can do after answering, if you notice no one is there, is to immediately start hitting you # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call, and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!
3. Junk Mail Help: When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these 'ads' with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own juk mail away.
When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd
mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with post-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 44 cents postage,
if and when they receive them back,
It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
One of Andy Rooney's 60 Minutes Ideas:
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you don't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back. If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.
The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk mail back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it--Twice.
Let's keep our postal service busy since they are saying that email is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!
If enough people follow these tips, it will work--I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.

Kaboom.

For two weeks in a row, I trudged through the snow to go to my weekly beauty shop appointment (yeah, I know--but Sam does try so hard!) and on the third week, I decided I
couldn't go through it again, so called and cancelled.
Yesterday, was the best day of several days, so I had optimistic hopes and when I arrived
at the beauty shop, was happy to see the sidewalk was cleaned off--except for about a 2-inch
wide skiff of frozen snow!
I thought that would be easy to negotiate with my cane--but I was wrong. I fell KABOOM! trying to step
over that little bit of snow. There's nothing more interesting than when an arthritic body
hits the ground--hard. I have to say, though, that Scott Wooley's glasses are tough. My face ended up in the snow and I heard a crunch, and was so afraid I had broken my glasses, but when we got the
snow cleaned off of them--they were fine.
As the evening wore on and new day passed, I have sore spots where I didn't even know I had spots.
The real miracle is that I was not seriously hurt--except for my ego--when Jim had to come and get me (with Sam's help) up off of the concrete.
All I can say is that my guardian angel must be one tough broad as she tried to cushion this body of mine. Jim has been trying to get me to go with a walker--and that time may have come!
I'm so thankful there were no broken bones!

Car Show

I notice the Car Show is being held in St. Louis. This is an annual winter tradition and Jim and
I have attended more car shows than I care to count. Jim loves, loves, loves cars and at first I was excited (kind of) about accompanying him until I realized how much walking was required and how many nearly naked ladies (models) were there showing off the cars, as well as
showing off their wares, if you know what I mean.
Those shows are huge and there are hundreds of cars and Jim wouldn't just casually walk by and
admire the new cars, he really looked them over. I soon found out that after we had walked all around the car show, we still weren't done looking--he would go around the second time. B-O-R-I-N-G!!
I'll never forget one particular car show there in St. Louis, though. That has been several years ago, but I was already having difficulty in walking, so Jim suggested that he let me out at the
front door, and he would then drive to the parking area, and ride the shuttle back to the show.
It sounded reasonable enough to me. I started out just standing by the front door, where I had
been dropped, but it seemed that the simple ride back on the shuttle bus was taking an awfully long time, and as the minutes changed into half hours, I began pacing.
Did I understand correctly that he would arrive back at the front door, where he dropped me?
I began to saunter toward the other doors in the building, but still no Jim. An hour had passed
by this time and I know you will be surprised to hear this about me--but paranoia began to
set in.
Oh, my gosh! My loving husband of many, many years had brought me to the BIG city to dump
me. I never carry any money with me, and this point was causing me much stress. I always
have to have a Plan B, so my mind was racing--I could (in an emergency--and this was fast becoming one) hire a taxi to take me back to Flora, but would a taxi cab take a credit card?
After about an hour and a half, Jim finally straggled in the front door. I couldn't make up my mind whether to kiss him or kill him!
It turns out the shuttle bus had become involved in an accident at the parking lot, and although
it wasn't serious, Jim said he could tell that lots and lots of paperwork was going to have to be
done, so finally he took off on foot to get back to the show. Soon after that, we solved the car show problem. He took our son with him to those car shows, and I stayed at home, where I belonged!
I've often wondered how much it would have cost to have a taxi bring me home--and would he have taken
my credit card?

EXTREME CALL WAITING.

I read about some new trends in funeral and burial services in a newspaper article recently. I had no idea how things were progressing on the burial front. The newspaper story said that items near and dear to the deceased are being placed in the coffin with the body. It claimed that caskets now have pockets built in so that personal items can be added.
Needless to say, this has caused some bizarre items to be tossed in the coffin. A can of beer, a big cigar and a lighter were placed with one gentleman. In another case, a fishing pole was placed alongside the dearly departed. Sports memorabilia are among the most popular items to be added to the casket. I guess if you are a sports enthusiast, you want to Rah-Rah to the end.
Lots of people go to their reward dressed in clothing depicting their favorite ball team. That's what you call being a fan to the end!
One of the strangest things the paper described in the article was the placement of a cell phone, turned on and in the suit pocket of the deceased. Members of the family would call the cell phone number and leave messages from time to time. Wouldn't they have been surprised if he had answered!
During the funeral service for this man, the cell phone did ring, and needless to say, this was kind of unsettling to the minister who was handling the service, as well as to those people attending the last rites.
The family defended their decision to send the cell phone to the grave with the man, saying that everyone who knew him was aware of his love for his cell phone.
This made me think I should be making arrangements for Jim and for me. There is no doubt in my mind, Jim would like to be buried with a Lexus he once owned, but I don't think I can afford a plot that big. To be honest with you, I never did like that car, and as far as I am concerned, that would be a good place for it--six feet under!
The one thing I have always said I would send into eternity with Jim would be the remote control. There is no doubt in my mind that if he passes on at home, he will be clutching the remote in his cold, lifeless hand. Since he likes to listen to music WHILE he watches TV sometimes he holds two remote controls, but personally I think throwing two remote controls in the coffin would be tacky, don't you?
I'll bet at this point, you are DYING to know what I want placed in my casket. I would like a cookbook and a cake pan. Now, these choices should not surprise you, since you know I love to cook and love to eat, and besides, haven't you ever heard of angel food cake?

I forgot to include the most interesting tidbit about the Lt. Robert E. Lee (senior moment!).
It was a replica of the famous Robert E. Lee steamboat, made famous in the race in June of 1870 from New Orleans to St. Louis between the Natchez VI and the Lee.
Captain John Cannon of the Lee stripped the Robert E. Lee of excess weight and even refused to carry passengers or cargo. The Capt. of the Natchez, however, refused to lighten his load and
the Robert E. Lee beat the Natchez by several hours. The Lee made the trip in 3 days, 21 hours
and 58 minutes.
There has to be a life lesson in there somewhere--maybe--lighten your load and win, or,
strip down to the basics and succeed--or choose your own proverb!
And my brother, Robert E Lee was named after that famous boat!!!

What happened to the Robert E. Lee?

After posting about the Admiral the last time, and as an after thought, the Robert E. Lee, I
decided I had to know what happened to the Lee.
The Lt. Robert E. Lee was built in the late 1960's using an old U.S. Army Corps of Engineers boat. She came from Greenville to the St. Louis waterfront in Feb. 1970 and opened as a
restaurant two months later.
Although she never was a real boat, she was Fred Leyhe's dream of a perfect steamboat. Fred was the son of Capt. Buck Leyhe, who was one of the owners of the famous Packet Co. who ran many famous steamboats on waterways all around the country.
The Lt. Robert E. Lee was (naturally) named for the confederate general who served with the Army Corps of Engineers in St. Louis (1837-1841). The Lee had a hard time making it as a restaurant and was sold to the President Casinos and was severly damaged in the Great Flood of 1993.
In 1997, 4 local businessmen bought her and renovated her. All of the wooden structure was replaced by steel and a new paddlewheel was added. She reopened as a restaurant called Mesquite Charlie's Steaks on the Lt. Robert E. Lee (that name alone would have been enough to sink her) on Oct. 10, 2001. The restaurant closed on Jan. 2002, after the economic downturn following 9/11.
In 2004 she was moved to Kimmswick, MO, where she operated as a floating restaurant until being closed again. In 2008, the Lt. Robert E. Lee was auctioned and supposed to start a new life at St. Charles, MO. She caught fire and burnt on March 21. 2010 at St. Louis.
We had heard that the Lee was in Kimmswick, MO and one day drove there. We wanted to
check out the boat, but we also wanted to eat at the famous Blue Owl Restaurant. It was
closed the day we went there, but we did board the Robert E. Lee, but didn't eat on it and
neither of us can remember why. I did, however, get a nice cookbook from the Blue Owl.

Cruising Down The River...

Last night on the St. Louis TV station (Channel 5), they commented that the Admiral riverboat
had caught fire. I guess you really can't call it a "riverboat", since it has been setting empty
since the casino on it closed.
I don't think the fire was serious, and I feel like they are probably dismantling the old boat.
The Admiral was built in 1938 and it was the first steamboat on the Mississippi River that
was fully air-conditioned.
Our family enjoyed taking cruises on the Admiral and it was really neat. Jim and I figured we
did that two or three times. It wasn't an easy adventure--to get three kids ready, drive to St.
Louis and then set sail, but what fun when we took off.
I was trying to figure what year (years) we took those cruises, and since all three kids were born
in the 60's, I figured it might have been the late 60's, but in googling the "Bob Kuban Band",
it states Kuban "stepped on board the Admiral" in 1973. He stated it had the largest inland dance
floor in the world. Bob Kuban still performs some in the St. Louis area.
The thing that stands out in my mind about the Admiral was its calliope. I still get chills up
my spine when I think about the calliope playing "Cruising Down the River On a Sunday Afternoon."
I think liking calliope music is probably an acquired taste but I have always loved that tinny
sound. I think the Admiral has been sold a dozen or so times and believe the owners of the casino tried hard to keep it open but it just wasn't to be.
We also liked to go to St. Louis and eat on the Robert E. Lee. It was docked right on the waterfront and had a seafood restaurant on the top floor; and featured regular food on the bottom.
If the Robert E. Lee was ever a cruise boat, I have forgotten that fact.
Did you ever take a cruise on the Admiral--or eat on the Robert E. Lee?

The Secret's in the Mail

This was originally published in the Hometown Journal on 2/22/06; repeated on 3/23/10 and
then used in one of Uebinger's Furniture Company's monthly e-mail newsletters, so some of
you may be sick and tired of this--but for the ones who have never read it--I hope you enjoy it!

My new year started off well. I received the new Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail. My mail carrier can vouch for the fact that I receive dozens and dozens of catalogs every month, but I do not recall ever receiving a VS!
At first I thought the address label probably said, "Occupant," but when I checked, my name was written right there--where everyone could see it. That means they must feel I am worthy of perusing those hallowed pages. This kind of confuses me, though, because I tend to blush at the Victoria's Secret TV commercials, and here those women are up close and personal.
One item that caught my eye in the catalog was something called a "VS Uplift." Now, I am always interested in anything that lifts body parts up. It assured me that there is a built-in back panel in some of their jeans that lifts from the inside, yet is completely invisible from the outside and the carefully engineered seams contour and shape. It would certainly take more than a
"built-in back panel" to lift my derriere, but it is a nice thought.
I then turned to the lingerie section and the first thing I spied was something called a "sheer & lacy babydoll" (blush, blush!) Then I found the Very Sexy Push-up Bra Section (their words--not mine.) Ah, yes, they certainly do push up and some of them apparently push up without padding! Now, isn't that a kicker? (blush, blush, blush!) The panty portion of the catalog came up next. They had something called an "extreme bikini," an "extreme string bikini," and an
"extreme v-string panty. (Extreme blush!)
Do you remember in the old cowboy western movies where the cowboys would saunter around with their thumbs hooked in the waist of their pants? Well, some of the models in this book had their thumbs hooked in the waist of thse panties, and believe me, the thumbs were wider than the panties!
This was certainly an enlightening experience for me, but I must hurry and hide this catalog before Jim sees it. That old guy's ticker might kick into overdrive, and frankly I don't think he can handle that!
One thing that surprised me was the lack of leather goods in the Victoria's Secret apparel. I guess since they like the "peeky boo" aspect, it would be hard to peek, or boo either for that matter, in leather togs.
And speaking of leather, my brother, Bob, sent me ths via e-mail:
When a woman wears leather clothing...
A man's heart beats quicker
His throat gets dry.
He goes weak in the knees.
And he begins to think irrationally.
Ever wonder why?
BECAUSE SHE SMELLS LIKE A NEW TRUCK!

Life Happens To All Of Us!

Over the years, Jim and I have spent a lot of time in Biloxi, M-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i (I just love
to spell that word--it reminds me when I was in grade school and learned to spell it for the first
time).
For years, we attended the furniture market at Tupelo, which was only a skip, hop and a jump (well, o.k.--a long skip, hop and a jump) from Biloxi. We fell in love with the region because
of the beautiful white sand beaches and the laid-back lifestyle of the people who lived there.
In later years, we found a campground just across the highway from the lovely Gulf waters
and that made it even more special. Then, on August 28, 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf of Mexico as a Category 5 storm, with winds estimated to be at 175 mph.
The winter after Katrina, we didn't even try to go to Biloxi, as we saw on TV stories about all
of the damage. We went to Gulf Shores, AL instead, but did drive over there one day. We were
in shock at what we saw. The beautiful old southern homes facing the Gulf were mostly gone.
The storm had actually rolled up part of the highway running along the Gulf. One of the
casinos, which had been setting on the water, was picked up and dumped right in the middle
of a street. Two bridges were demolished--one leading into Biloxi and one going into Bay St. Louis. For several days no one could even get to Bay St. Louis to check on the residents except
by boat.
Each year after the hurricane had hit, we would drive over to Biloxi to see the rebuilding
that was taking place, and to tell you the truth, it was maddeningly slow.
Then, in January, 2008, another catastrophe occurred in the area of Biloxi. Lam Luong,
a 37-year old father, confessed to throwing his 4 children 100 feet into the water under the Dauphin Island bridge. Searches continued for several days without any rescue or recovery of
the bodies of the children. Finally, all 4 bodies were found and laid to rest. Luong had had a
fight with his wife and wanted to punish her by throwing his children into the water.
A judge has upheld a jury's recommendation that Lam Luong be sentenced to death by lethal injection and an unusual edict was also handed down by the judge--that Luong must be shown pictures of his children every day for the rest of his life.
Biloxi is finally beginning serious rebuilding and you get a sense of renewed hope in the
residents. When Jim and I criticized the fact that the casinos were rebuilt rapidly, the people
from Biloxi pointed out that it was necessary to get the casinos up and running, in order to receive the much-needed revenue from them to help with the rebuilding process.
We spent two weeks in Biloxi before Christmas and will return early in February for a
month. We still have to really search to find where the campground was that we stayed in
for so many years, as it was completely destroyed. You can still see concrete
slabs where houses and businesses--and even whole shopping centers--had been located
and not rebuilt. And we don't pass the Dauphin Island exit without thinking of those four
beautiful children, and we realize that there in Mississippi, we can still feel the aftermath
of two catastrophes--one caused by Mother Nature and the other at the hands of a sick father.

Motorcycle Fantasies.

You may be surprised to learn that I was the second woman in Flora (as far as I know) to get a license to officially ride a motorcycle. I would have been the first, but my kids bragged to our neighbor about my plan, and she hurried to the Driver's License station and took her test first.
I had to take a written test, of course, and the only thing I remember about the riding portion of the test was doing Figure 8's. I guess it wasn't very difficult to pass.
I learned very fast that when you ride a motorcycle, you don't smile or bugs get plastered on your teeth; barking dogs like to chase women on bikes; and if there was a dead shunk anywhere in a five-county area, it would end up on the stretch of road I happened to be riding on at the moment.
Riding that morotcycle was a great tension-buster as I was working part-time, caring for our kids and helping Jim in the new business he had just started. One day, however, it began to drizzle rain, and I simply was not paying attention to what I was doing, I was going too fast and when I tried to put the brakes on, I kept going through the stop sign and ended up doing some rather intricate Figure 8's before I got that machine stopped. I realized then and there, that I had no
business risking life and limb on a motorcycle, since I had a husband and three kids to raise. For the most part, my biking days were over.
Jim has owned many motorcycles, and although he doesn't have one now, he still lusts after every Gold Wing he sees on the road.
We were in Tennessee a while back, and it seemed to be the motorcycle capitol of the world. The weather was exceptionally beautiful, and that brought the bikers out in droves. Jim and I began observing the couples we saw riding. We noticed that the beer-bellied men who looked
rough and mean seemed to attract the cute, little, hot babes. One couple, in particular, caught my attention. Perhaps I had been inhaling too many gasoline fumes, but I could almost imagine being on the back of that bike.
My long, blonde hair was blowing in the wind from beneath my black motorcycle helmet (it matched the bike, you know) and my derriere seemed molded to the back of that bike. I held on for dear life to the bronze-skinned young man in front of me, who had a day's worth of beard on
his face, and rippling muscles peeking out from under his sleeveless tee-shirt!
All at once, the reality bubble burst right in my face, as the couple on that bike pulled into a gas station to get gas, near where we were parked. The sweet, young thing threw her leg up and
over the back of that bike in one, smooth, synchronized movement, as she gave me a sly grin.
Right then, I realized that if I could have hiked my leg up that high in order to get off the bike, it would have undoubtdly have become locked in that position, and that would make getting
back on the motorcycle impossible.
That's too bad, because there for brief moment, I was ready to ride off into the sunset with that Greek God--face stubble and all!
Ah--old people and their fantasies. I tell you, it is a beautiful thing!

Donna's Book Club

I subscribe to the "O" magazine, and as you know, Oprah is really into books. I like to find
books listed in that magazine, which I have never heard of, and order them. Sometimes, I
like them--sometimes I don't.
Some time ago, I heard about the book "Seabiscuit", written by Laura Hillenbrand. Now, I
have to be honest here--I couldn't finish the book. I guess I'm just not into horse books.
Ms. Hillenbrand has now written a new book, called "Unbroken--A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption", and believe me, I couldn't put this book down--but
did have many restless nights as I read it.
It is a true story of Louis Zamperin. You talk about being in the wrong place, at the wrong
time, Mr. Zamperin always seemed to be there. His plane went down, he and his buddies (later
only 1 buddy) set a record for surviving on the sea in a raft that was falling apart only to be
attacked by enemy aircraft.
If you like history and war stories, you'll like this book.
The second book I've read in the past few weeks, made me angry, as a woman. It is called
"The 19th Wife", by David Ebershoff. It is about the Mormans and polygamy. The
"plural wives", as they were called, suffered humiliation and rejection, as the young, prettier
wives moved up in the chain of lust, and the older women dropped lower and lower. The
book points out something I had never thought of--what these multiple marriages did to
the children involved.
The third book was written by a man who lives near us. He is a friend of my friend, Wanda
Gish, and she talked about his book, "Living the Dream", so much I ordered it, and have
begun to read it. His name is Barry Coughlin and this is his first novel. Mr. Coughlin was
diagnosed with ALS in 2001. I think you will like this book. I ordered my copy from
the internet, or I think you can order it directly from Mr. Coughlin's website. Happy reading!

Answers to the Baby boomer era test

Yes, I know, I should have put the answers at the END of the test, but....
1. D
2. G
3. B
4. A
5. G
6. D
7. C
8. F
9. C
10.E
11.D
12.C
13.G
14.G
15.B
16.G
17.D
18.B
19.A
20.F
So, how many did you get right?

Baby Boomer era test

I got this from a friend via e-mail and thought it was neat. See how well you do.
1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
a. Flintstones vitamins
b. The Buttmaster
c. Spaghetti
d. Wonder Bread
e. Orange juice
f. Milk
g. Cod Liver oil
2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was ____?
a. Sugar Ray Robinson
b. Roy Orbison
c. Gene Autry
d. Rudolph Valentino
e. Fabian
f. Mickey Mantle
g. Cassius Clay
3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, "We have met the enemy and ....?
a. It's you
b. He is us
c. It's the Grinch
d. He's really me and you
f. We quit
g. He surrendered
4. Good night, David--
a. Good night, Chet
b. Sleep well
c. Good night, Irene
d. Good night, Gracie
e. See you later, alligator
f. Until tomorrow
g. Good night, Steve
5. You'll wonder where the yellow went...
a. When you use Tide
b. When you lose your crayons
c. When you clean your tub
d. If you paint the room blue
e. If you buy a soft water tank
f. When you use Lady Clairol
g. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend...
a. Stuart Whitman
b. Randolph Scott
c. Steve Reeves
d. Maynard G. Krebs
e. Corky B. Dork
f. Dave the Whale
g. Zippy Zoo
7. Liar, liar...
a. You're a liar
b. Your nose is growing
c. Pants on fire
d. Join the choir
e. Jump up higher
f. On the wire
g. I'm telling Mom
8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and...
a. Wheaties
b. Lois Lane
c. TV ratings
d. World peace
e. Red tights
f. The American way
g. News headlines
9. Hey kids! What time is it?
a. It's time for Yogi Bear
b. It's time to do your homework
c. It's Howdy Doody Time
d. It's time for Romper Room
e. It's bedtime
f. The Mighty Mouse Hour
g. Scoopy Doo Time
10. Lion and tigers and bears...
a. Yikes
b. Oh, No
c. Gee whiz
d. I'm scared
e. Oh my
f. Help! Help!
g. Let's run
11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone..
a. Over 40
b. Wearing a uniform
c. Carrying a briefcase
d. Over 30
e. You don't know
f. Who says, "Trust me"
g. Who eats tofu
12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's stockings...
a. Troy Aikman
b. Kenny Stabler
c. Joe Namath
d. Roger Staubach
e. Joe Montana
f. Steve Young
g. John Elway
13. Brylcream...
a. Smear it on
b. You'll smell great
c. Tame that cowlick
d. Grease ball heaven
e. It's a dream
f. We're your team
g. A little dab'll do ya
14. I found my thrill...
a. In blueberry muffins
b. With my man, Bill
c. Down at the mill
d. Over the windowsill
e. With thyme and dill
f. Too late to enjoy
g. On Blueberry Hill
15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by....
a. Clark Gable
b. Mary Martin
c. Doris Day
d. Errol Flynn
e. Sally Fields
f. Jim Carrey
g. Jay Leno
16. Name the Beatles:
a. John, Steve, George, Ringo
b. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
c. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
d. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
e. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
f. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
g. John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. I wonder. wonder, who..
a. Who ate the leftovers?
b. Who did the laundry?
c. Was it you?
d. Who wrote the book of love?
e. Who I am?
f. Passed the test?
g. Knocked on the door?
18. I'm strong to the finish...
a. Cause I eats my broccoli
b. Cause I eats me spinach
c. Cause I lift weights
d. Cause I'm the hero
e. And don't you forget it
f. Cause Olive Oyl loves me
g. To outlast Bruto
19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today.
a. Smile, you're on Candid Camera
b. Smile, you're on Star Search
c. Smile, you won the lottery
d. Smile, we're watching you
e. Smile, the world sees you
f. Smile, you're a hit
g. Smile, you're on TV
20. What do M & M's do?
a. Make your tummy happy
b. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket
c. Make you fat
d. Melt your heart
e. Make you popular
f. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
g. Come in colors.

Answers tomorrow.

Ice storm

It seems to me that we have had more snow than normal in this winter of 2010-11, but don't hold me to that statement, as my memory is only about 5 minutes long these days. There is one
particular storm that has stayed in my mind for many years, though.
It was the winter of 1974. It started out as a blizzard; then, if I remember correctly, it
warmed up a bit and then we had freezing rain--and an ice storm. It was a wide-spread storm
and we lost our electricity almost immediately, but not all areas did. Some regions never did
lost their power. We lived on new highway 50 east of Flora in a modular home. Thankfully, we had built a
big family room, which was attached to the double-wide. In this family room we built a
beautiful fireplace. This turned out to be very lucky for us as it was our only source of heat during the storm. We were getting ready to switch from selling RV's to selling furniture, but the furniture store
did not open until July of '75.
We only lived two houses from the electric substation, so we were smug in the knowledge that we wouldn't be without electricity too long. That turned out to be wrong. When the power
companies (and they even called in crews from all over the area) began to get the electricity up
and running, they started at the other end of the electric grid and worked their way BACK
to the substation.
The fireplace worked fairly well in keeping us warm and at night we all piled into the family
room and slept on furniture and eventually, we even pulled mattresses into that room to sleep
on. Snow had to be melted in order to flush the toilets. Food preparation was interesting,
as everything had to be prepared in the fireplace. The fireplace had no special equipment
to allow me to cook in it properly, though. I finally did get some cookies baked, but they
had scorched bottoms. None of us will ever forget that all of the food had a strange, woodsy,
smoked taste. Yuck! I had fixed a big dish of noodles before the storm hit, but none of
us could stand to eat those smoky noodles.
It was the middle of the 4th day before our electricity came back on, and what a celebration we had!
Jim vowed we would never go through that again, as he would pile us into the car and drive until we found a town with electricity and check into a motel until things returned to normal.
That experience taught us we would have been terrible pioneers.

Life Happens when you're playing around with computers

The other day, as I was working on the computer, and then tried to print something, I realized that I was not only talking to the printer--I was talking OUT LOUD to the printer.
In fact, I was talking rather impolitely to said printer.
I don't feel too bad about doing that, though, as Jim talks to the lady on the GPS--or
rather argues with her--as to where her directions are leading us. Maybe that is a senior
citizen thing--talking to inanimate objects.
I would never have become involved with computers, because they are clear out of
my league, except when we owned the furniture store, our inventory got so large that the
only way we could track it was by computer. The first one we bought soon proved to be inadequate, so we had to upgrade.The new one was so sophicated that I had an awful time using it. Besides, I don't think it liked me. It seemed that when I logged on, weird things began to happen.
One day as I got ready to enter some things on the computer, it wouldn't do a thing. It
was like it was dead. I handled that problem in my usual laid-back manner by screaming, "What's the matter with this stupid computer? It won't even let me log on." As usual, Shari
had to step in and save the day.
"It's o.k., Mom. The computer is just in sleep mode," she said. "Sleep mode--sleep mode",
I yelled. "If anyone or anything is going to sleep around here, it's going to be me--not my computer." After awhile, just as she said, it woke up or whatever computers do after being
in sleep mode, and we eventually got it programmed to sleep at night, when the
store was closed, like good little computers are supposed to do.
My computer expert has always been our grandson, Trenton, so after giving him a nice Christmas brunch, I dragged him into the computer room to help me get this new blog set up.
I happened to mention to him, that from time to time I had trouble with the printer. I told him that when it was out of paper and I put in a new stash of paper, it took it several minutes before it acknowledged the paper was in there. I said, "It looks to me like that printer should be able
to figure out that I had replaced the paper immediately."
Trenton said, rather calmly, I thought, "Grandma, that printer can't think. It can only react
to you pushing the proper buttons."
I said, "Oh, I get it. I should be able to handle that because that's the way your Grandpa
works. The problem is knowing when to push those buttons!"

What I've Learned

I ran across this the other day mixed in with some of my old columns. I think I probably got
it off the internet, but it's still pertinent, I think. I hope you enjoy it.

I'VE LEARNED that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I'VE LEARNED that money doesn't buy class.
I'VE LEARNED that all play and no work makes Jack a very poor boy.
I'VE LEARNED that men gossip more than women do--and it's usually about women.
I'VE LEARNED that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I'VE LEARNED that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I'VE LEARNED that with all of the medical specialists these days, we are sadly lacking in doctors who can treat your whole body.
I'VE LEARNED that we senior citizens would probably be healthier if we didn't have medicare paying the bills. After all, at our advanced age, if you run enough tests, you
are certain to find something wrong.
I'VE LEARNED that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away, and the real pains-in-the-butt are permanent.
I'VE LEARNED that if, when you meet someone for the first time and the hairs on the back
of your neck stand at attention--your neck is usually right.
I'VE LEARNED that I don't suffer from insanity--I enjoy it.
I'VE LEARNED that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I'VE LEARNED that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I'VE LEARNED to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I'VE LEARNED age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I'VE LEARNED that depression is merely anger without enthusiam.
I'VE LEARNED that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I'VE LEARNED that to ignore the facts, does not change the facts.
I'VE LEARNED that under everyone's hard shell, is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I'VE LEARNED that the Lord didn't do it all in one day and what makes me think I can?
I'VE LEARNED that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I'VE LEARNED that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I'VE LEARNED that if you're lucky, a really good friendship will last a lifetime.
I'VE LEARNED that you shouldn't compare yourself to others--they are more screwed up
than you think.
I'VE LEARNED that age spots can be rather attractive if you take an ink pen and make a dot-to-dot drawing on your limb(s),
AND LAST, I'VE LEARNED that life is like a roll of toilet paper. the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes!

Recipes--I warned you there might be recipes.

Besides writing columns for the two local newspapers over the years, I also wrote cooking columns for both, until I gave up "Aunt Jean's Kitchen", which appeared in The Hometown Journal, a few months ago. I had always collected cookbooks for years and even gave most of
them away last Christmas to family and friends, except for my very favorite recipe books.
Party mix must have been "invented' when I was a teen-ager (so very long ago) because I remember the first time I sampled some of it, it was love at first taste--and I still love it, although the strange thing is, I really don't like cereal and rarely eat it for breakfast. Weird,
huh?
I have my own recipe for party mix that I have tweaked over the years, but when I saw this
recipe in the Guideposts magazine, it interested me because it made such a huge batch.
The family who came up with the recipe for it calls it "Clutter Snack Mix", and it is as follows:

3 cups Rice Chex
3 cups Wheat Chex
3 cups Corn Chex
3 cups Kix
3 cups Cheerios
3 cups thin pretzels
1 pound mixed nuts (about 3 cups)
1/2 pound party peanuts (about 1 2/3 cups)
1/2 cup canola oil
1/2 cup bacon fat
1/2 cup butter (1 stick), melted
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon allspice
1 teaspoon celery salt
1 tablespoon Accent flavor enhancer (optional)
1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon red pepper (optional)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place all dry ingredients in a large roasting pan. Mix oils, Worcestershire sauce and spices, pour over dry ingredients, basting every 20 minutes. Serves several dozen.

And this recipe I got from my friend, Bill Atwood--it is Velvetta Fudge:

1/2 lbs. margarine (or butter)
1/2 lbs. Velvetta cheese
1/2 cup cocoa
2 lbs. powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup chopped nuts
Melt margarine (or butter) and cheese over low heat (double boiler) or microwave. In large bowl, mix powdered sugar and cocoa together. Pour hot margarine and cheese mixture over the sugar and cocoa mixture. Mix thoroughly. Add vanilla and nuts. Press into a 9x13" pan. Put in refrigerator 15 minutes before cutting.
I made a batch last night. Very tasty.
To me a perfect evening would be a good helping of party mix, followed by some Velvetta
cheese fudge!!

The Button Jar

As promised, The Button Jar, published in The Hometown Journal on Aug. 24, 2005:

"I got ready to hem some pants the other day and in looking for some thread to match the fabric, I ran across The Button Jar.
Of course, this is really not my Button Jar. The collection was started by my Mom. At one time, it had every type of button imaginable--from small pearl-like buttons to the big metal types. It also had fancy buttons for ladies' blouses and sturdy non-descript ones for men's shirts.
The reason Mom had a Button jar was because when I was growing up, things were tough in the Lee household, and my Mom's mantra was "waste not--want not" so our clothes were worn until they were definitely well-used. Even then, at that point, Mom would salvage enough from each item of clothing to make quilt blocks.
She was an excellent quilter--known for her tiny, straight stitches, and relatives who lived out of town yearned for one of her quilts, but Mom made her quilts for her kids and grandkids,
and occasionally, for a friend.
Back in those times, a whole card of small pearl buttons probably only cost one dime, but she removed buttons from the garments, and also zippers and anything else that might be used on another piece of clothng, and then the fabric was cut up.
I was the only one of her kids living in town at the time of Mom's death, and somehow I ended up with The Button Jar, although I really don't remember how it came to my house.
As the kids were growing up, it seemed that one of us was always in need of a replacement button, and it certainly came in handy.
Of course, I'll pass this tradition on to my kids, but it won't be as impressive as it was when I took the jar to my home, as Mom always kept the jar filled, but I'm afraid I deplete the supply, rather than add new buttons to it.
For many years after Mom's death, I was careful to cut buttons off of clothing I was going to throw away, to put in the jar, but somehow, I got out of the habit.
My Mom has been gone many years, but I still miss her and, oh! what I would give to see Mom's hands reach for the old Button Jar once again."

Note: After stirring up all of these memories, I hunted up The Button Jar and gave it
to Shari--so now the third generation is in charge of it--and hopefully Shari will pass it on to Brandi and Brandi on to her daughter (as yet unborn--due in April). Ah, traditions. Aren't they great?

Memories!

Writing about my Mom yesterday, stirred up a lot of memories, so I guess you can call this
"Lelia Lee, Part 2".
Even when our lives improved enough that using a dozen eggs in a cake wasn't that much of
a problem, Mom had to think long and hard about doing so. I have always told people, Mom
could get more meals out of one chicken than anyone I ever saw. She used up leftovers until
they worked down to a tablespoon full, and then would toss all of those tablespoons full into
a pot and make vegetable soup.
I have always wondered what Mom did with the dozen egg yolks on the rare occasion when
she made an angel food cake. Knowing Mom. she probably had that figured out BEFORE she
started preparing the cake. A few years ago I ran across a recipe for an angel food cake, made
from scratch, of course, and right beside it was a recipe for using up the 12 egg yolks. It seems
it was a recipe for a pound cake.
Mom made the best homemade bread I ever tasted, but when things got good enough that
we could actually buy bread--she never made homemade bread again (except for biscuits
and cornbread) and who could blame her.
In yesterday's post, I mentioned Colclasure's Store in downtown Xenia. One time when
we went there to do our trading (as Mom and Dad called it), the folks gave me a nickel
to spend in the store. I was probably 5 or 6 years old and I was so proud of my purchase,
which I had made all by myself. The rest of the family had the biggest laugh over my
purchase of Ex-Lax. I thought it was chocolate candy. To this day, I can only eat milk chocolate--because dark chocolate reminds me of Ex-Lax and my wasted nickel.
I also talked about Mom selling or trading eggs for supplies at Colclasure's store. A
few years ago, one of my least favorite aunts who lived up north, sent me a letter Mom
had written her when she had just discovered she was pregnant with me. Mom wasn't
very happy about the pending bundle of joy because she figured she had her hands full
with three kids already and very few material goods--and no money.
She told my aunt in that letter that she sold her eggs to raise money to pay the interest
on a loan. It seems to me that the interest was $20, which in those depression times, would
have been a lot of money.
When I wrote columns for the Hometown Journal, the one I wrote, called "The Button
Jar" brought more comments than nearly every other column (well, except maybe the one
about Victoria's Secret). In Lelia Lee's household nothing was wasted. Old clothing was
cut up and the fabric used in making quilts, after the buttons were cut off, of course, and
placed in the button jar. I believe I'll hunt up that old column and post it tomorrow.

Christmas morning Brunch

For many years, I have prepared a brunch on Christmas morning for our family. Faces around the table are different, as relationships change and people move away, and I keep experimenting with the menu. Basically, though, I try to prepare just about every breakfast dish known to man.
One item that is rather unusual for a breakfast buffet is noodles. Years ago I asked for input
on new things to include on the menu and grandson, Trenton, who was very young at the
time, said "Noodles", so they have been included every year since. For the first time ever,
I had to buy noodles already made from Sanders Bakery, as rolling out and cutting the noodles
is playing havoc with my hands. How sad--but another adjustment I have to make to accommodate Mr. Arthritis, I guess!
I love the Waffle House version of cheesy eggs and have fixed them many times, but sometimes they turn out well, and some times they end up watery, so when I ran across a recipe
for baked cheesy scrambled eggs, I was thrilled.
I was a little hesitant, though, when I realized that the casserole dish took 18 eggs. "Oh, well", I thought. "After all, it's Christmas." Sensing my hesitation over the 18 eggs, made me think of my Mom. When I was a kid, only rarely did she make an angel food cake, even though our family really liked that delicacy. Back then, of course, there were no cake mixes in boxes, but everything had to be made from scratch, and she could hardly bring herself to use 12 (ONE
WHOLE DOZEN OF EGGS). Mom raised chickens--not because she needed a hobby--but
because she needed to sell or "trade" those eggs at the Xenia Mercantile (a/k/a Colclasure's
Store). Eggs were therefore a priceless commodity. Maybe Lelia Lee's genes were coming to the surface when I thought twice about using 18 eggs.
I made the casserole, but was a little late in putting it in the oven. It shouldn't have been a problem, except
the center of the egg dish stayed runny. Since the rest of the food was on the table, and people had begun to eat, I hurried and zapped the egg thingy in the microwave, and then zapped it again and again. The center was finally set, but with all of the nuking of the eggs, they were a little
tough.
People definitely were not in the mood for eggs by this time, so except for a few tablespoons
dipped out of the dish, the rest of the casserole was thrown out.
Looking back, I can see what I did wrong. I made the casserole the night before and put it in the fridge, so should have set it out to come to room temp before baking, and/or, since I had
2 ovens at work, 2 crock-pots, one electric skillet and 2 burners on the cooktop, I might have failed to set the oven at the right temperature.
I am not going to give up on that recipe though, as it came from one of my favorite cookbooks.
If you want to give it a try, when you are serving a crowd, just give it extra time to bake and let it set out at room temperature for awhile before baking.
BREAKFAST CASSEROLE
18 eggs
1 lb. meat (ham, bacon or sausage)
(I used bacon, but less than a pound)
1/4 cup flour
2 cups milk
3/4 cup margarine
1 lb. Velvetta Cheese
Fry meat, drain and crumble. Melt margarine, stir in flour. Add milk and cheese,
cook until thick and smooth. Cool, add meat and eggs. Pour into a 9x13" buttered pan. (Glass works best). Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes. this dish can be prepared the night before, placed in the refrigerator overnight and baked the next morning.